It is October 1973, and England are playing Poland at Wembley in a crucial World Cup qualifier. The score is 1-1, and Sir Alf Ramsey's team, once emblematic of the Swinging Sixties, are crashing out of the competition.
Gather round, children, and I will tell you some Just So Stories for these confusing times.
Horror, shock, Cristiano Ronaldo in porno video scandal. Must be true, as there it was on the front page of my newspaper.
I'm a celebrity. You might not realise it yet. You might have me down more as a funnyman of moderate repute.
I have seen the future - and it will involve moving a lot of furniture. On 10 October, I watched two live games on the net - England under-21, then England-Ukraine.
I have made a bid for Newcastle United.
I am so pleased by the shape and sound of this season so far. At long last we have three Jacks coming through, establishing themselves in Premiership first teams.
And I’d hoped Ray Stubbs had gone back to teaching geography . . .
First it was neoliberals at home and in America. Then it was their supporters in the media. Now Venezuela's Hugo Chávez has his sights fixed on the real threat to his "Bolivarian Revolution" - golf.
Cricket fans rejoice: England are the best team in the world.
Let's not condemn it-done well and shamelessly, it's almost an art form.
On the eve of an eagerly awaited Ashes series, Peter Wilby reveals how the forces of globalisation a
Andy Murray may be wishing he’d never raised his nationality – but the worlds of tennis and politics
In Britain, black people are excluded from decision-making in top-flight football. It will take more
Newcastle fans end the season with three awards in the <em>New Statesman's</em> star-studded prizegi
With no balance in the team, Arsène let his Gunners fizzle out
Which of the overused football wisdoms are still valid, asks Hunter Davies
Hunter Davies leaves Britain behind for a far more civilised football experience
In Acton, my son’s cricket team thrash the opposition mercilessly. This is riches undreamt of: I kno
<em>Hunter Davies</em> recognises a kindred spirit in the Liverpool scribbler
. . . on tax dodgers, deportations, crocked fast bowlers and women drivers
Phrases from footie have long seeped into the language, writes <em>Hunter Davies</em>
It’s not fair that only one Prem team each year gets a prize, writes Hunter Davies
...on profligate MPs, policing and a predictable Premiership
In footie’s first flush, players wore a riot of colours, like salmon pink and cerise, complete with