Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko by Rosetta’s OSIRIS narrow-angle camera. Image: ESA/Rosetta/MPS for OSIRIS Team MPS/UPD/LAM/IAA/SSO/INTA/UPM/DASP/IDA
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Rosetta becomes the first spacecraft to ever go into orbit around a comet

After a ten year chase, Rosetta became the first ever spacecraft to intercept and go into orbit around a comet - and over the next 18 months will begin searching for clues left over from the earliest moments of our Solar System.

Yesterday, after ten years of chasing, the European Space Agency’s (ESA) Rosetta spacecraft became the first ever to intercept and go into orbit around a comet. Now scientists can begin the next step in one of the most exciting investigations into how the Solar System formed that we’ve seen so far.

ESA scientists brought Rosetta to within 100km of the comet – a 3km by 5km rock called 67P Churyumov-Gerasimenko – and established a stable orbit by slowing it down with its thrusters. Perhaps surprisingly, while it’s taken ten years to get there, 67P was only discovered 50 years ago, but while not as famous a comet as Halley it’s just as scientifically interesting. Comets are considered to be primitive building blocks of the Solar System, and relics of the formation of the planets, while some even believe that they provided Earth with both water and other key ingredients too which were necessary for igniting the evolution of life. 

67P was first discovered in 1969 by Soviet astronomers Ivanovych Churyumov and Svetlana Ivanova Gerasimenko. The hope is that Rosetta will unlock the secrets of this early history – which is why it was named after the Rosetta Stone, the discovery of which in 1799 provided the key to translating Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs and Demotic script into Ancient Greek (and thus any other language). It was launched from Europe’s spaceport in Kourou, French Guiana, in March 2004, into a long journey of loops around the Sun as it aimed to get onto the same trajectory as 67P.

Rosetta has trekked over 6bn km, passing by Earth three times, Mars once, and soaring past two asteroids, using the gravitational pull of those objects to change velocity and catch up with 67P. The riskiest part of this was when it was put into hibernation mode for 31 months to conserve power as its orbit brought it out to a distance roughly equal to the orbit of Jupiter and then back in again – where it was successfully awakened in January of this year, for the final part of the voyage.

Since May, Rosetta has performed a series of ten rendezvous manoeuvres to gradually fine-tune the spacecraft’s speed and trajectory to match those of the comet, which travels through space at speeds of up to 135,000km/h. Despite the unprecedented complexity of the mission, Rosetta’s smooth arrival was confirmed yesterday morning.

Here’s a video from the ESA showing Rosetta’s near-decade-long journey, and here’s how it’s going to orbit around 67P closer and closer:

The spacecraft now has quite the adventure to come, edging closer to the comet over the next six weeks in two triangular-shaped trajectories, first from a distance of 100km and then at 50km. Depending on the activity of the comet, it will further attempt a near-circular orbit from a distance of 30km, simultaneously scrutinising the comet’s surface for a suitable landing site for its small lander probe - Philae, named after an obelisk that was also used to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphs in the 19th century.

Philae will, sometime in November, detach from the main body of the spacecraft and anchor itself to the surface of the comet with a high-powered harpoon. Meanwhile, Rosetta will spend the next 18 months analysing the comet from every angle, retrieving crucial data enabling scientists to investigate how planets were created. The spacecraft will also accompany the comet around the Sun as it moves back out towards the orbit of Jupiter.

The mission has some similarities with Japan’s 2005 Hayabusa mission, which rendezvoused with and landed on an asteroid named Itokawa. It was meant to scoop up material from the asteroid’s surface, and return it to Earth for study – those samples arrived in 2010, but we know that its capture mechanism malfunctioned. To this day, there is some uncertainty as to whether the capsule managed to successfully collect the asteroid rock fragments.

The Rosetta mission is significantly more complex, too – while both Itokawa and 67P have miniscule gravitational pull, the former’s orbit around the Sun is relatively simple, and Hayabusa simply chased Itokawa closely around the Sun in the same orbit. Rosetta will, by reducing its speed to less than a metre per second, genuinely orbit 67P. As the comet moves towards the Sun and heats up, there are also likely to be gas and dust particles shed off into space to form its tail – and initial photographs sent to us by Rosetta, the clearest ever of a comet, do show some emissions already.

Yesterday, the elated ESA science and mission control experts celebrated the long awaited arrival, jokingly describing it as being similar to arriving at “Scientific Disneyland”. The arrival was streamed live on the ESA’s website, and Rosetta is already sending back incredible high-resolution images of the surface of 67P. So far, it looks a lot rockier and more solid than expected – less like a “dirty snowball”, and more like an asteroid.

Around the internet, there was excitement at the arrival of Rosetta. The hashtag #RosettaAreWeThereYet flooded Twitter, as people from all over the world eagerly awaited the news, like impatient school kids – even the Philae lander’s own Twitter account got involved:

But it didn’t stop there - after Rosetta finally reached its destination, even former Star Trek captain William Shatner joined the fun by engaging in playful chitchat, checking on operations with the Nasa and ESA Twitter account.

Although we know what the comet looks like from the outside, we don’t know what it looks like from the inside, and that’s what Rosetta and Philae will be uncovering over the next few months - as long as they have enough power from the craft’s huge solar panels, that is, as unlike most probes that venture out past the orbit of Mars, it has no onboard nuclear generator.

As one mission controller explained, Rosetta is going to finally “unlock the treasure chest of our own history”.

20th Century Fox
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It’s 2016, so why do printers still suck?

Hewlett Packard recently prevented third-party cartridges from working in their printers, but this is just the latest chapter of home printing's dark and twisted history. 

In order to initiate their children into adulthood, the Sateré-Mawé tribe in the Brazilian Amazon weave stinging ants into gloves and ask teenage boys to wear them for a full ten minutes. The British have a similar rite of passage, though men, women, and children alike partake. At one point in their short, brutal little lives, every citizen must weep at the foot of a printer at 2am, alternatively stroking and swearing at it, before falling into a heap and repeating “But there is no paper jam” 21 times.

There are none alive that have escaped this fate, such is the unending crapness of the modern home printer. And against all odds, today printers have hit the news for becoming even worse, as a Hewlett Packard update means their machines now reject non-branded, third-party ink cartridges. Their printers now only work with the company’s own, more expensive ink.

Although it’s surprising that printers have become worse, we’re already very used to them not getting any better. The first personal printers were unleashed in 1981 and they seemingly received the same treatment as the humble umbrella: people looked at them and said, “What? No, this? No way this can be improved.”

It’s not true, of course, that printing technology has stagnated over the last 35 years. But in a world where we can 3D print clitorises, why can’t we reliably get our tax returns, Year 9 History projects, and insurance contracts from our screens onto an A4 piece of paper in less than two hours?

It’s more to do with business than it is technology. Inkjet printers are often sold at a loss, as many companies decide instead to make their money by selling ink cartridges (hence HP’s latest update). This is known as a “razor and blades” business model, whereby the initial item is sold at a low price in order to increase sales of a complementary good. It explains why your ink is so expensive, why it runs out so quickly, and the most common complaint of all: why your cyan cartridge has to be full in order to print in black and white.

But technology is complicit in the crime. HP’s new update utilises the chips on ink cartridges to tell whether a refill is one of their own, and have also previously been used to region-block cartridges so they can’t be sold on in other countries. Those little chips are also the thing that tells the printer when your ink is empty. Very good. Fine. Except in 2008, PC World found that some printers will claim the cartridges are empty when they are actually nearly half-full.

Back to business. Because this profit models means companies sell printers for so little, quality inevitably suffers. If they’re not selling them for much, companies will naturally try to keep the costs of making their printers down, and this is the reason for your “Load paper in tray two”s, your “Paper jam”s and your “Would you like to cancel this print job? Nope, sorry, too late, here are 100 copies.”

So why are printers bad at networking? This isn’t a set up to a lame joke (unless the joke is, of course, your life as you try to get your wireless printer and your PC to connect). There doesn’t seem to be a definitive answer to this, other than the fact that Bluetooth is still fairly patchy anyway. Some errors, just as you suspected, happen for no bloody damn good bloody reason at all.

On a bigger scale, the printers in your office are difficult because they work harder than you ever have. It’s a stressful job, for sure, and this naturally comes with errors and jams. The reason they are so hard to fix after the inevitable, however, again comes back to capitalism. Because printers don’t have a universal design, most companies will protect theirs, meaning you can’t know the specifics in order to fix a device yourself. This way, they also make money by sending out their own personal technicians.

Thankfully, although every personal printer you’ve ever bought seems to be on collaborative quest to drive you to madness, there is an easy fix. Buy a laser printer instead. Though the device and the replacement toner cartridges are more expensive, in the long-run you’ll most likely save money. In the meantime, there's only one solution: PC load letter. 

Amelia Tait is a technology and digital culture writer at the New Statesman.