Quote, unquote: Religion

What some of the greatest thinkers and wits thought of religion

There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular one is Providence - Mark Twain

If you have two religions in your land, the two will cut each other's throats; but if you have thirty religions, they dwell in peace - Voltaire

Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.
The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is the demand for their real happiness. To call on them to give up their illusions about their condition is to call on them to give up a condition that requires illusions. The criticism of religion is therefore in embryo the criticism of that vale of tears of which religion is the halo - Karl Marx

Those who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion is - Mohandas K. Gandhi

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Religion is comparable to a childhood neurosis - Sigmund Freud

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and is widely regarded as a bad move - Douglas Adams

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear - Woody Allen

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian - Dennis Wholey

If there were no God, there would be no Atheists - G.K. Chesterton:

Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law - Sholom Aleichem

On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park - Curtis McDougall

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die - Joe Louis

How many observe Christ's birthday! How few his precepts! O! 'tis easier to keep holidays than commandments - Benjamin Franklin: