Media 30 May 2019 Opium versus cannabis lassi: Tory leadership candidates have gone all gap yah on us This is what happens when posh boys compete. Getty High Tories. Sign UpGet the New Statesman\'s Morning Call email. Sign-up In the logical conclusion of any contest between upper middle-class white boys, the Tory leadership hopefuls have descended into a gap yah-off. “Uh, it was sick mate, I chugged a cannabis lassi when I was backpacking in Indiah, absolute mess mate!!” said Hunty, kind of. “Well I smoked opium in Iran and then walked 30 miles, man, it was EPIC,” replied Stewdog. Pretty much. Here are the actual quotes: “I think I had a cannabis lassi when I went backpacking through India,” Jeremy Hunt told the Times, cattily adding that it was “almost as naughty as wheatfields”. But that was basic bitch material compared with rival Rory Stewart’s best drug story; he told the Telegraph that he smoked opium at a wedding in Iran: “I was invited into the house, the opium pipe was passed around at a wedding. I thought – this is going be a very strange afternoon to walk – but it may be that the family was so poor they put very little opium in the pipe.” He insisted it “had no effect” on him “because I was walking 25-30 miles a day”, and later called it a “stupid mistake”. Your mole for one cannot wait to discover Esther McVey’s K-hole story, James Cleverly’s best acid trips, and Penny Mordaunt’s brush with poppers. › Ed Davey is officially running to be Liberal Democrat leader. Here’s why it’s going to be a very odd contest I'm a mole, innit. Subscribe For more great writing from our award-winning journalists subscribe for just £1 per month!