27 suggestions for Donald Trump, who doesn’t know what our country is called

“They used to call it England.”

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Controversial bleached clementine and President of the United States Donald Trump has tried to convey his “great respect” for this country – without knowing its name.

“I have great respect for the UK, United Kingdom,” he said during a rally – but not enough “respect” to know what, exactly, the United Kingdom actually is.

“Great respect. People call it Britain. They call it Great Britain,” he continued, panic filling his eyes. “They call it – they used to call it England. Different parts.”

Maybe we should cut him some slack – perhaps he was too busy on his recent visit to the UK, erm, visiting the UK, to find out where he was.

He just didn’t have time to pick up that Great Britain is the island of England, Scotland (where he actually has his own controversial golf course) and Wales. Or that the United Kingdom is the actual sovereign country: the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Or that England is… still called England.

But here are a few other suggestions from your mole for next time the Leader of the Free World publicly forgets the name of one of his closest allies:

1. Great Islands

2. Britland

3. Land

4. English Kingdom of Britain

5. Some Lands

6. Britain Great Again

7. Britain, Bigly

8. Great Island

9. The Island Formerly Known As England

10. The United Kingdom of Different Parts

11. Different Parts of the United Kingdom

12. Island

13. Islands

14. The Isle of British Union and Greatly Irish

15. The United Isles

16. English Island

17. English Ireland

18. Isle of England

19. Irish England and Welsh Scotland

20. Scottish Kingdom of English Wales

21. The United Britain of Great Ireland

22. The United Britain of Great Island

23. The British Kingdom of Great United and Northern Island

24. Lands

25. Water Country

26. Wet Rock

27. Viking France

I'm a mole, innit.

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