Keir Starmer will need to do more than play a wine-pouring genial host to charm ministers at a Chequers cabinet away day. Many have been feeling distinctly unappreciated, as he increasingly resembles a distant and disapproving Victorian father. Failing to notice Rachel Reeves’ teary misery, never mind comfort the visibly distressed Chancellor, wasn’t the first – and proved not to be the last – occasion this Prime Minister has failed to spread the love. Cabinet colleagues noticed President Emmanuel Macron name-checked Home Secretary Yvette Cooper as well as his interior minister, Bruno Retailleau, during the recent state visit, for negotiating the small boats deal. Starmer, standing alongside visiting Manu, didn’t. Dishing out credit goes a long way in politics, whereas hogging the glory breeds disenchantment.
Jury service is a civic duty that meant Matthew Pennycook, the Housing Minister, missed a slew of affordable-home announcements while dispensing justice. He’s one of three government frontbenchers plus a group of other MPs summoned to decide the guilt or innocence of the criminally accused. One of their number who was called up joked it’s part of a plot by Justice Secretary Shabana Mahmood to convince colleagues that the courts system is broken and requires radical reform after the retired judge Brian Leveson proposed curtailing jury trials. Serving is believing.
Strike-threatening doctors are giving Wes Streeting a headache and we hear the Health Secretary is increasingly unpopular with peers. Twice, a noisy Wesleyite army has invaded the Lords end of the terrace, including the Friday the assisted dying bill cleared the Commons. MPs and peers jealously guard their turf. A snout growled that on both occasions merry members of Wes’s crew adopted don’t-you-know-who-we-are attitudes when challenged.
Reform shape-shifter Lee Anderson doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going. The Tory defector walked into the wrong lobby during a welfare bill vote. A north-west England Labour MP clocked the hard-right party’s deputy leader, Richard Tice, hoiking “30p Lee” out of the voting line. Anderson is supposed to be chief whip of Reform’s four MPs. Awks.
There are mutinous whispers among senior ranks of James Cleverly’s Territorial Army (TA) regiment over the former Tory foreign secretary’s promotion to colonel. The TA veteran delivered a speech to a regimental dinner of the 100 (Yeomanry) Regiment Royal Artillery to celebrate his elevation from the lesser rank of lieutenant colonel. Not satisfied with being knighted, he clearly wants more people to have to call him “sir”. According to one senior officer present, eyebrows rocketed and jaws plummeted when it sounded during the speech as though “not very” Cleverly believed the post would come with a salary. It doesn’t; it’s honorary. “We weren’t sure whether he was joking or seriously naive,” groaned a snout. No money tree there. Sir!
“Farage Assistance Group” was wealth-tax champion Neil Kinnock’s barbed-if-polite suggestion for the name of Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana’s new left collaboration. It wasn’t his first thought, though. On hearing of the party plan, Labour’s former leader growled: “Are they going to call it the Fruit and Nut Party?” Raisin’ the bar for puns there, Neil.
With Starmer now expected to shuffle the pack for the first time in September, Westminster is awash with speculation over likely winners and losers. While the Prime Minister has personally reassured the Education Secretary, Bridget Phillipson, that her job is safe, Tech Sec Peter Kyle has been spoken of as a replacement. But Labour insiders warn those fancying a bump up not to make it too obvious. Back in 2023, one recalls, it was Lucy Powell and Darren Jones who battled for the shadow tech brief. The winner? A Labour leader who loathes off-the-record briefings gave the job to the aforementioned Kyle.
Boris Johnson’s erstwhile Substack-ing svengali Dominic Cummings once said Lisa Nandy would be a far better Labour leader than poor old Keir Starmer. The guru’s blog is often peppered with references to “brilliant women” he used to work with in the civil service. He often contrasts these with useless male duffers who didn’t – remember 2020? – know what epidemiology was. Cummings is now in the process of setting up his own party. Names suggested for the project include the “Third Force” and the “Start-Up Party”. Only one problem so far. All of the first members are men, observes a snout. No women want to join, however “brilliant” they are.
Polls keep telling us that Reform is on course to be the largest party after the next general election. While that election is (probably) four years away, that means the party is scrambling to find suitable candidates. Who’s on the list for 2029 then? One snout whispers that the ex-Mumford & Sons banjo maestro turned culture wars “independent YouTuber” Winston Marshall could be interested in a seat. Marshall, whose dad, Paul, just happens to be a major shareholder in GB News – home to Reform leader Nigel Farage’s prime time show – surely wouldn’t need to sing for a plum constituency.
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[See also: The Tories are responsible for the Afghan resettlement fiasco]
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This article appears in the 16 Jul 2025 issue of the New Statesman, A Question of Intent