There’s another party running in the European elections at the last minute, and its name is Cringe UK. Vote for it if you want muscle-clenching rhetoric and wince-inducing messaging.
Because that’s the kind of politics Labour-turned-Change UK MP Joan Ryan delivered at a rally today.
“Can you just look at your hands, please?” she asked, holding hers out above the lectern, like Oliver Twist at a primary school mock election.
“That’s it, it’s there. That’s the answer to this. It’s in your hands.”
She then released her hands from their book-like display with a flourish.
Watch it here, if you can see through your own hands, which presumably have gravitated over your face in horror:
Change UK’s Joan Ryan: “Can you just look at your hands please?”
Give a gift subscription to the New Statesman this Christmas from just £49** everyone holds out their hands in front them **
“That’s it, it’s there, that’s the answer to this. It’s in your hands.” pic.twitter.com/3SvfTIsy4D
— LBC (@LBC) May 16, 2019
A positive and uplifting moment in British politics, if you read some of the best Twitter jokes:
‘He’s got the whoooole world/ in His hands/ He’s got the whole wide world/ in His hands/ He’s got the whooole world/ in His hands/ He’s got the whole world in His hands’ – Joan Ryan to the People’s Vote rally she confused with an assembly of primary-age school children https://t.co/OlztkV6Nrh
— LEILA SACKUR (@lei_sack) May 16, 2019
Why is this Joan Ryan after delivering the killer line pic.twitter.com/sdZI2g4Bhs
— Frankie Leach (@francesleach_) May 16, 2019
since when is joan ryan every secondary school guidance counsellor ever https://t.co/UllopoAvwH
— Peter “Could be Dangerous” Banks (@PeterBanksLD) May 16, 2019
FDR: “The only thing to fear is fear itself.”
JFK: “Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.”
Blair: “A New Dawn has broken, has it not?”
Joan Ryan: “Can you just look at your hands please?” https://t.co/Q1i4ZgX08M— Will Barber – Taylor (@Blackadder345) May 16, 2019
Men Without Hats: We can dance, we can dance…
Joan Ryan: …everybody look at your hands
— Tom Powdrill (@TomPowdrill) May 16, 2019
Joan Ryan confirmed for next Asda Shrewsbury People Manager https://t.co/rS0AiKHiow
— Meredith (@Sam_M_Meredith) May 16, 2019
Is Joan Ryan campaigning for Head Girl at Enfield High school? https://t.co/xc1hq0eeCM
— Big Paddy Kane (@_paddington_) May 16, 2019
Change UK MP Joan Ryan: “Can everyone look at their hands please?”
****cue everyone holds out their hands in front them****
***Joan Ryan grabs wrists and manipulates them to strike their faces***
“Stop hitting yourself”.
— Tom Neenan (@TNeenan) May 16, 2019
I’m Joan Ryan and you’ve been The Best pic.twitter.com/RvZtD8nLDK
— Paul (@greasydunlop) May 16, 2019
The best part of this speech is that she tells the audience: “You’re really good, you’re doing that ever so well, that’s the best I’ve seen it done – brilliant!”
So she’s done it before.
And with that, your mole will leave you with the Safety Dance:
Content from our partners
Related
