This England

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You will soon have the chance to decide whether aliens exist, based on current evidence, thanks to a Liverpool MP.
Defence minister Peter Kilfoyle MP is to throw open the doors on the subject, revealing the country's own X-files, shut away for decades.
It is believed he is about to let the public see the files because, after looking at them, he thinks they show no evidence of alien beings. - Merseymart (Margaret Barton)

Camden Town Tube station is to be closed to incoming passengers all weekend while one of its two escalators is repaired. The Ham & High revealed last week that the escalator would collapse at any time. - Ham & High (Sigrid Rabiger)

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This article first appeared in the 06 December 1999 issue of the New Statesman, My night with Mad Frankie Fraser