So it’s farewell from The Fan – this is my last column. But who would have thought it would have lasted almost 30 years. It began in 1996, when the editor of the New Statesman was Ian Hargreaves. He had no interest in football but noticed the Euros were coming up and thought: “Hmmm, should we cover it? Who could write about them for the next four weeks? Someone who appears to be a football fan, can be quite amusing, on his day, with the light behind him…”
After the four weeks were up, I just carried on. Never had a contract, just agreed I would do a regular column during the football season. Every time a new editor arrived, I thought that would be it: ta ta the noo. But I kept going. Some turned out to be footy fans, so that was handy, especially on the odd occasion the clubs they supported had a successful season (thank you, Leicester City). Jason Cowley was awfully knowledgeable.
It was strange in a way that I should have been asked in 1996, when I had never been a football reporter, worked on any sports pages or written about the latest transfer news. But I have always been a fan, supporting Spurs – proof of madness, surely – and Carlisle United. I was there in 1966 at Wembley, and over the decades have written loads of books on football.
The best fun I had was writing The Glory Game, spending a year with Spurs in 1972: in the dressing room, on the training pitch, in their homes. I still don’t know how I got such access. But they had no agents, no lawyers. It is still in print in the UK, US and Norway. Then I did several books about football history: I’m rubbish on dates and scores, but ask me anything about how football began…
For several decades I ghost-wrote the autobiographies of famous players. Gazza’s was an enormous success; Wayne Rooney’s less so. In this very column in 2005 I mocked rumours that he had been signed up to do five volumes. You what? Aged 20? I thought it was really stupid, until I was asked to ghost-write his first one. Funny old game, football. Alas, the book did poorly. Rooney was indeed too young, not reflective enough. Gazza, on the other hand, was a dream. He was at the end of his career and willing to tell me anything, however appalling – most of which I could not use. Ugh.
During all these years writing this column, it wasn’t necessary for me to follow the football news or report on actual games. I wrote the column on a Monday and by Friday, when it was published, I knew most football news would be out of date. So I just messed around and wrote like a fan: daft opinions, picking on funny things, trends, silly haircuts, stupid stuff said by commentators. I like to think I did usually have a serious point in each column – somewhere, but well hidden. The collected columns have actually appeared in two books – some time ago, so don’t rush out.
I think the standard of football journalism generally has improved over these 30 years with better writing and more interesting and informed opinions. Football itself has become bigger, better, a dominant worldwide force, in which England leads – oh yes it does. Just look at how many of the world’s nations broadcast the Premier League, the massive gates, the whopping wages.
One change has been that the English Prem is not English any more. This season, only 24 per cent of Prem players were born in England. When I were a lad, the only foreigners in the First Division were Scots… And VAR – oh God, the most annoying so-called advance in these past 30 years.
The best advance has been the rise and flourishing of women’s football.
So why am I going? I hope it’s not ageism, just because I am 90 in January, but because I am so frightfully busy. I have two new commissions for books. So sorry, must get them finished. It’s been nice doing this. Thanks for having me. Ta-ra well…
[Further reading: Has Donald Trump become woke?]
This article appears in the 25 Sep 2025 issue of the New Statesman, “Are you up for it?” – Andy Burnham’s plan for Britain






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