8 October 2025

This England: Bussing for the loo

This column – which, though named after a line in Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, refers to the whole of Britain – has run in the New Statesman since 1934

By New Statesman

Illustration by Marta Signori

A bus company has apologised for sending a “wholly inappropriate” memo to drivers about urinating in bottles during their shifts. Stagecoach workers in Manchester were warned that if they were to relieve themselves in bottles, they should not leave them behind on their vehicles. Unite the Union said the firm’s approach was “intolerable”.
BBC (Benjamin Chase)

Greggs wally

A serial “bake and bolt” thief who targeted Greggs stores was caught with mayo on his face. Darren Humphreys, 59, nicked baguettes and sausage rolls on six separate occasions from his local Greggs store, Workington magistrates court was told. CCTV footage shows Humphreys nabbing two baguettes from the sandwich fridge of the Workington, Cumbria, shop before casually grabbing a bottle of Coke. Humphreys denied six counts of theft and one count of common assault, but was found guilty following a trial.
Wales Online (Janet Mansfield)

Upside downtown

A man living in North Shields has chosen a unique way to commemorate the town’s 800th birthday. Mike Swann decided that he wanted to do 800 headstands in different places around the area. “I mean, this stupid little idea of mine and the positive response I’ve had from it has been amazing, I would never have expected it,” he said. To achieve his target, he will need to complete around five headstands a day, until the end of the year.
BBC (Daragh Brady)

[Further reading: GB News will never love Kemi Badenoch]