The way I see it: Sophie Woolley

Woolley is a writer and stand-up comedian. She will perform her one-woman show “When to Run” on 10 a

1 Does art make a difference?

It’s hard to make a difference. I tried to make a difference the other day but ran out of fuzzy felt and sticky stars. Art makes a difference to me. When I imagine what life would be like without writing and acting, I see myself falling into this terrifying abyss of work and hobbies.

2 Should politics and art mix?

Politics is an art. But I don’t mix art with politics, although I did once write for a political website. I’m not a political satirist, though.

3 Is your work for the many or for the few?

It’s for as many rich people as possible – and deaf people (my show is usually captioned). But every so often someone reads one of my short stories and says, “It’s really good because it’s not middle-class.”

4 If you were world leader, what would be your first law?

I would abolish everything, and fire people into space from giant space-cannons to colonise new worlds.

5 Who would be your top advisers?

Dr Strangelove, my mum, my sister . . . and I should say Nelson Mandela, because everyone says him, don’t they? Google would also probably come in handy when making important decisions, and perhaps Wikipedia.

I could go to a spiritualist church whenever I got really stuck, and keep abreast of public opinion by scanning the tabloids, especially the show-business pages.

6 What, if anything, would you censor?

Everything. People will enjoy the challenge of circumnavigating all my bans.

7 If you had to banish one public figure, who would it be?

King Midas. Can’t have people going around turning everything into gold – it would wreck the economy.

8 What are the rules that you live by?

Er . . . I’ve got a bit stuck on this one. I’m very naughty.

9 Do you love your country?

London is my country. I love it for ever xx.

10 Are we all doomed?

Eventually, yes. Even the cryogenically frozen will last only for as long as the electricity bills are paid.

This article first appeared in the 09 July 2007 issue of the New Statesman, The new terror