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Wanted: a nanny for one deplorable president

With apologies to Disney and Mary Poppins.

By Nicky Woolf

If you want this choice position,
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts;
Never be a media source!

White House staff chiefs must be witty,
Never call the president petty
Keep his briefings short and sweet,
And ignore his morning tweets

Do not mention Robert Mueller
That just makes him even crueller,
Love him like your son or daughter,
Never let him near the launcher

No one wants this poisoned chalice,
Who’s in charge now at the palace?
The stakes are high and if you fail,
You are probably going to jail.

If you don’t scold and condescend him,
Your life will still be humiliating
He’ll brief the Times behind your back
Ignore all your advice,
Then fire you in a tweet.

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THANK YOU

Hurry, Nanny!

Many thanks
Sincerely,
President Donald,
President Donald,
Trump

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Select and enter your email address Your weekly guide to the best writing on ideas, politics, books and culture every Saturday. The best way to sign up for The Saturday Read is via saturdayread.substack.com The New Statesman's quick and essential guide to the news and politics of the day. The best way to sign up for Morning Call is via morningcall.substack.com Our Thursday ideas newsletter, delving into philosophy, criticism, and intellectual history. The best way to sign up for The Salvo is via thesalvo.substack.com Stay up to date with NS events, subscription offers & updates. Weekly analysis of the shift to a new economy from the New Statesman's Spotlight on Policy team. The best way to sign up for The Green Transition is via spotlightonpolicy.substack.com
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  • Facility / Grounds Management and Maintenance
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THANK YOU