Wanted: a nanny for one deplorable president

With apologies to Disney and Mary Poppins.

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If you want this choice position,
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts;
Never be a media source!

White House staff chiefs must be witty,
Never call the president petty
Keep his briefings short and sweet,
And ignore his morning tweets

Do not mention Robert Mueller
That just makes him even crueller,
Love him like your son or daughter,
Never let him near the launcher

No one wants this poisoned chalice,
Who’s in charge now at the palace?
The stakes are high and if you fail,
You are probably going to jail.

If you don’t scold and condescend him,
Your life will still be humiliating
He’ll brief the Times behind your back
Ignore all your advice,
Then fire you in a tweet.

Hurry, Nanny!

Many thanks
President Donald,
President Donald,

Nicky Woolf is the editor of New Statesman America. He has formerly written for the Guardian and the New Statesman. He tweets @NickyWoolf.