Someone has drunk the last of the milk and the mainstream media won't report it

If you were to believe many of the mainstream media and leading politicians, you’d think that the UK doesn’t have a problem with milk theft.

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I went to the fridge at work just now and the two-litre bottle of milk was empty. Suspicions were first raised when I saw the other publication we share the floor with swigging from large mugs of tea, despite their own milk supply running dry earlier this week. The New Statesman milk had clearly been identified by writing "NS" on the bottle cap. And yet, when I got to the kettle, it was gone.

But oddly, most of the UK press has failed to report on this. 

This isn't the first time this kind of thing has happened. Last week I left a half-eaten sandwich wrapped in foil in there. When I went back a day later, it was gone. And yet, the only newspaper to report on this was the Guardian, which buried the news in its "lifestyle" section. The Times and Sunday Times, controlled by Rupert Murdoch, did not. Neither did the Telegraph group, which is owned by the billionaire Barclay Brothers. Nor Richard Desmond's Express.

Perhaps if it had been hummus, the British press would have been interested.

Admittedly, when the office air-conditioning accidentally got stuck on extra cold, this news was covered by the Huffington Post, Independent and BuzzFeed. But it didn't make the BBC 10 O'Clock news, and political editor Laura Kuenssberg never responded to my attempts to raise my concerns with her. That begs the question: what do we pay our licence fee for? No wonder Paul Mason had to leave.

Even more damningly, when I stubbed my toe in April, only Russia Today dared to break the conspiracy of silence by reporting it. The rest of the media paid it no heed, even when Jeremy Corbyn issued a statement condemning all forms of violence, surely including my toe injury. What does that say about the so-called guardians of free speech who run Britain's newsrooms?

There is no other possible conclusion than this: something is seriously wrong with the British media and the cosy clique which controls it. The Daily Mail found space to run pieces on Love Island, passport chaos and the weather, but apparently has no room for the vastly under-reported problem of milk theft. 

If you were to believe many of the mainstream media and leading politicians, you’d think that the UK doesn’t have a problem with the brazen guzzling of the last drop of milk - or, worse, leaving a tiny token amount at the bottom of the bottle so it's not technically finished. But you'd be wrong. 

With a compliant and submissive media like this, the Tories will surely steal the next election.

Helen Lewis is a former deputy editor of the New Statesman, who is now a staff writer on the Atlantic. Her history of feminism, Difficult Women, will be published in February 2020.