Will Self is the author of seven novels, six collections of stories and five collections of non-fiction. His most recent novel is The Butt. He writes the Madness of Crowds column for the New Statesman as well as the Real Meals column.

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20 June 2012
The etymological wizardry of our drugs.
Food and Drink
13 June 2012
The joint is called “Mariners” – which is fair enough: somewhere has to be – but there’s...
06 June 2012
I am distressed to see that the hateful expression “builder’s tea” doesn’t have an entry in...
30 May 2012
I emailed my friend Zee who is half German, half Pakistani, but was raised in Britain and now lives in Cologne. “...
23 May 2012
Next they’ll call me “British"
16 May 2012
Ask not what your country can do for you – instead, go to yet another chain Italian restaurant and order some...
09 May 2012
Compulsive hoarding is pretty out there, no? I mean what kind of a weirdo saves all that cardboard and bubble wrap,...
Food and Drink
03 May 2012
It was said of Guy de Maupassant that he ate dinner every evening in the restaurant on the upper deck of the...
26 April 2012
The transvaginal probe is a long, dildo-shaped instrument used to detect foetal heartbeats – or, at least, that...
Food and Drink
19 April 2012
In keeping with the convergence of downtown Los Angeles – as depicted in Blade Runner (1982) – and Britain...
29 March 2012
I consider chicken again - and gladly! At night, in sweat-basted sleep, I slip and slide over chicken-skin terrain,...
26 March 2012
People say social media are enormously important. Yes they do. Presumably they tweet this sort of thing to one...
12 March 2012
It's often said contemptuously of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran, that he has a degree in traffic...
05 March 2012
My old friend the writer and academic David Flusfeder and I arrived early at the Ebury Hotel in Canterbury for a dinner...
27 February 2012
Saturday Live is an innocuous enough Radio 4 magazine programme that goes out - duh! - live on Saturday mornings. I...