Will Self is an author and journalist. His books include Umbrella, Shark, The Book of Dave and The Butt. He writes the Madness of Crowds and Real Meals columns for the New Statesman.
In Tesco, I was struck by the presence of a paella ready-meal in the chiller cabinet.
Brixton is currently at number one on the gentrification hit list, and so on go the tags – covering everything from the tables to the lampshades.
If the past is another country, it’s one the boundaries of which are ever shifting, as entire features dissolve in the blue haze of partial amnesia.
It's my policy, though, to argue about it. Or at least ask for "Hitler" on my coffee cup.
It’s official: standing on busy escalators is faster than walking up (or down) them.
Ben Wheatley’s screen adaptation of Ballard's novel brings its dry wit to the fore.
Inhabiting any new locale involves adopting new perspectives, and relocating a few hundred metres up the road makes the adjustment particularly uncanny.
I swore I'd keep it for ever, but when I found the hideous thing in my study the other week, I followed "a different train of thought".
This week, I have decided to trust to algorithms rather than observation. I offer you Google's top “lucky seven” maddened crowds.
If I didn’t carry a suitcase, I wouldn’t have the stress of packing. Or that, at least, was the idea.
The Zombie PM