Will Self is the author of seven novels, six collections of stories and five collections of non-fiction. His most recent novel is The Butt. He writes the Madness of Crowds column for the New Statesman as well as the Real Meals column.

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Culture
03 February 2011
I was sitting on the Tube the other day, with one eye scanning the faces of my fellow passengers - each so stamped with...
Lifestyle
27 January 2011
A new year and a new hamburger - for is the hamburger not elemental? Is it not like the two hemispheres of the earth,...
Culture
13 January 2011
There used to be a pie and mash shop around the corner from me, but it's long gone. I don't know the exact figures, but...
Culture
29 December 2010
There are many waymarkers along the winding trail of a man's life, but few can be quite so dismal, so minatory, so like...
Culture
15 December 2010
Within a Budding Grove, with its hint at the similitude of erectile clitoral tissue and burgeoning plant life, is the...
Culture
09 December 2010
One thing Ed "Claymation" Miliband won't do in his search for a "narrative" to unite the Labour...
Lifestyle
11 November 2010
My aunt Phoebe - bless her - is obsessed by sell-by dates. I say "bless her", but really it is infuriating to...
Lifestyle
04 November 2010
My wife told me recently that "panini" is a malapropism, being the plural rather than the singular. Think...
Culture
28 October 2010
Arguably a crowd comprising 59 men (and, perhaps, the odd - very odd - woman), between them carrying 109 guns, is about...
Lifestyle
18 October 2010
A weird, piratically themed Cornish pasty takeaway outlet has mounted a sustained assault on English railway terminuses...
Lifestyle
14 October 2010
I listened to Ed Miliband's speech to the Labour party conference while at stool the other day. This was purely...
Lifestyle
04 October 2010
For the Tragus Group, the company that owns the 117 branches of Café Rouge scattered across our green and francophile...
Lifestyle
27 September 2010
From time to time, I succumb to one of the great delusions of the modern world: namely that a gadget or device will...
Lifestyle
20 September 2010
My friend Ian's girlfriend Cindy has opened a Thai restaurant at Tollcross in Edinburgh. There's nothing particularly...
Lifestyle
13 September 2010
A rustling and puckered moment at a convenience store somewhere in the switchback of streets skirting Edinburgh's...

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