Will Self is an author and journalist. His books include Umbrella, Shark, The Book of Dave and The Butt. He writes the Madness of Crowds and Real Meals columns for the New Statesman.
And I'm not just talking about the fact they've both been left with a old, wrinkly narcissist.
I'm still unsure what the word “Brexit” actually means: withdrawal from Europe – or maybe a brand of lard?
The links between the Labour left and Irish republicanism are worth investigating.
For victims, the government’s failure to investigate can’t help but seem like some deranged repetition.
Will Self on the militarisation of France, and Boris Johnson at the Foreign Office.
What we don’t want to do, however, is examine the paralysis this fantasy has plunged us into.
While I’ve no truck with nirvana, I am a true believer in the power of deep absorption into the spirit of a place.
It’s not a great restaurant, but that doesn’t bother me, because the important thing about Joe Allen in Covent Garden is that it is pretty much unchanged since it first opened in the late 1970s.
Surely I ought to help this man – but what would even two or three days of my assistance really do?
Raclette, cheesy crackers, baguettes – even ice-cream is just cheese in waiting.