15 May 2000
When non-fiction books die - that is, when they are proved wrong, superseded, rendered irrelevant - the overwhelming...
What does a poster of a boy with a small penis advertise? That you can choose your gas supplier, of course
08 May 2000
The other day, I was at a party after the screening of a film when I was introduced to one of the people involved in it...
For us English, Christ does not offer gaping gory wounds; He goes around knocking on doors effetely with a lantern
01 May 2000
Did you see the recent advertising campaign for IKEA which was based on the slogan, "Don't be so English"? What must...
I didn't care about foxes being hunted until I learned that they crawl into drainage pipes to escape the dogs
24 April 2000
The other day, a hunt rode past our garden. Such a sight - the flash of a scarlet coat, the thumping of hooves, the...
I am certainly not going to start saving for my funeral - I would rather have my corpse boiled down into glue
17 April 2000
I have to confess that I'm not someone who spends much time reading the personal finance pages of newspapers. I know...
If Tony Blair really wants to wage a war against drugs, he should be seen with a spliff occasionally
10 April 2000
Alongside my fear of suddenly finding myself on stage in the middle of a play and not knowing my lines, I have another...
John Updike's son wrote just one novel: it must have been like firing a water pistol under the Niagara Falls
03 April 2000
So now, Stanley Kubrick being dead, A Clockwork Orange has been finally re-released, without much fuss and without...
27 March 2000
Nigel Wrench, one of the most famous news presenters on Radio 4, became HIV-positive in 1993 as a result of having sex...
20 March 2000
Last week, a friend was complaining to me that some people had unrealistic expectations of new Labour and would not be...
13 March 2000
In one of his lifemanship books, Stephen Potter recommends that if the person next to you on a plane asks what you're...
Do drugs affect creativity? By two in the afternoon, I've drunk so much coffee that I can scarcely hit the keyboard
06 March 2000
Do you remember the ridiculous level of coverage when the last Oasis album came out? Newspapers were reviewing it on...
28 February 2000
When I was younger, I would often arrive at the cinema after the film had begun. It didn't matter much, because when...
21 February 2000
Let nobody deny that there are any stunning experiences at the Millennium Dome. This week, I walked across the almost...
Greene would finish writing before the morning had even begun; I have to beat the score on my Gameboy
14 February 2000
Each week, the Times book pages feature a regular item on "How I Write" in which someone with a new book out describes...
Were Lego bricks, with those silly great towers, really the best the 20th century could do in the way of toys?
07 February 2000
This week I discovered that there is something called the British Association of Toy Retailers. It even has a boring...