18 September 2000
I am addicted to reading obituaries. I don't want to sound like a complete and utter bastard, but just once I would...
When a man's genitals are bitten off by a pit bull, can anything be retrieved that's worth sewing back on?
11 September 2000
Anthony Lane wrote in the New Yorker that the moment he heard that Speed was about a bus with a bomb on board which...
21 August 2000
Normally when people come back from holiday in the middle of August and ask if anything interesting has happened while...
No novel, not even Anna Karenina or A la recherche du temps perdu, is ever as good as the one in your head
14 August 2000
A new biography of Edmund White, which has just been published, reveals that he works for only one hour a day. Bastard...
07 August 2000
In December 1899, Rudyard Kipling decided he needed his own car, so he hired one. It cost three and a half guineas a...
31 July 2000
In last week's diary, I narrowly avoided making a fool of myself - all right, all right, a fool of myself again. At the...
We need to be reminded that, as Montaigne said, no matter how high a man sits, he still sits on his own arse
24 July 2000
A couple of days ago, I drove past a second-hand shop called "Junk and Disorder", which raised a smile. But I always...
If I spend ten minutes a week with my kids, that's a big advance on the traditional, middle-class nil minutes
17 July 2000
A new British survey has suggested that, during the working week, professional men spend an average of ten minutes with...
Do people who move to the country expect cheery morris dancers and rosy-cheeked milkmaids to call on them?
10 July 2000
Deborah Bosley's New Statesman article a couple of weeks ago, about the horrors of living in the country, certainly...
The Harry Potter hype shows all the symptoms of past hysterias, from the death of Diana to tulipmania
03 July 2000
My wife and I - I always have difficulty with that phrase. It makes me feel as if I should be cutting a ribbon or...
It's just as well that journalists can't be struck off for malpractice - I would have been finished years ago
26 June 2000
There must be doctors all over the country contemplating the recent scandals involving cancer-test errors, incompetent...
I spent four hours changing the numbers on an £8 padlock. Am I as mad as the man who counted hospital windows?
19 June 2000
There was once a psychiatric patient at the Royal Free Hospital in north London who suffered from an obsessive disorder...
Rock concerts are sordid and risky enough indoors, without paying £76 to roll around in a muddy field
12 June 2000
From all the TV previews and special supplements in the newspapers, I see that it's going to be a Big Summer of Sport....
Authors who sell millions of copies feel resentment toward writers who don't sell and don't even care
29 May 2000
It's an unwritten rule - maybe even a written rule - that columnists shouldn't write about other columnists, let alone...
My fastest downloading of music was in a shop: just five seconds to transfer the Wagner cycle to my plastic bag
22 May 2000
Have you heard of MP3? Do you have an MP3 program? Do you have an MP3 player? Have you already stopped reading this...