The Old Statesman
02 October 2013
From the Archive.
29 April 2002
In the memoir of his time as British film censor, John Trevelyan described the terrible trouble caused to him when the...
Once or twice, I have had dinner with readers, which sounds like the basis for a rather scary thriller
25 December 2000
Some years ago, in the days before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. I opened it, and a group of slightly...
Like medieval holy relics, Hollywood memorabilia multiply in order to meet the demands of the faithful
18 December 2000
In 1984, Harrison Ford was being directed by Steven Spielberg in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom at Elstree...
It would be too easy to say John Lennon died the day The Beatles split up, but it wouldn't be far from the truth
11 December 2000
Fortunately, nobody rang to ask me where I was when I heard that John Lennon had been shot, because I haven't a clue....
They used to put sick cats to sleep; now they call them diabetics and tell you to give them daily injections
04 December 2000
Do you want to hear something disgusting? Don't raise your hopes. This isn't the one about me and the goat. I'll save...
27 November 2000
Once a new art form is invented and established, an infrastructure develops to maintain it: a college to train people...
20 November 2000
When I was an avid reader of Biggles, in the late Sixties, I used to try to calculate Biggles's age, because I wanted...
The modern dictionary of quotations is like a hospital for jokes that have had their funny bits amputated
13 November 2000
I don't usually pay compliments to my wife, Nicci Gerrard, in this column. That's an understatement. I never have. Not...
Finally, I have got to the end of Lost Illusions, but I took longer to read it than Balzac took to write it
06 November 2000
When I was on holiday last week, I finished a book. Not writing one, unfortunately, but reading one. My copy of Balzac'...
23 October 2000
It is not in any way my intention to write an amusing column about the latest escalation in violence between the...
16 October 2000
The phone rings, you answer it, and a voice at the other end says: "Hello? Who is that?" So you say something like: "...
09 October 2000
Years and years ago, when The Godfather Part II came out, it got a rave review from Margaret Hinxman, the then film...
02 October 2000
When we moved to the countryside, I had an image of making civilised trips to London. You think of English gentlemen in...
25 September 2000
Every so often, one of the children will come up to me and say: "OK, now: shut your eyes and open your mouth." Or...