One of the most dangerous places in the world is the ground between David Cameron and a TV camera, starring on the small screen being a marked obsession of our Prime Spinner. Eagle-eyed viewers watching television coverage of the G20 damp squib in rain-soaked Cannes spotted PR Dave's maniacally darting pupils. Mr Over Here was observed locating the lens before struggling to act relaxed with world leaders. The Prime Spinner's problem is that, once he knows the bearings of the camera, his eyes flick back to check that it hasn't moved. The result is that Cameron looks shifty. Critics argue that it proves the old adage about the camera never lying.
Ed Miliband is called David so often (the confused include Harriet "David, er, Ed" Harman and an Independent editorial on the day the paper carried a front-page interview with the Labour leader) that he has started to joke about it. The junior Milibrother regaled a Labour North-West jamboree in Blackpool with the tale of how Mervyn King, governor of the Bank of England, was passed a slip of paper by an official during a recent encounter. Another quickly followed. Ed asked if the economy was collapsing. King answered no: the first wanted him to ask what the Four Seasons was like in Palo Alto, California. The second said don't bother, because the official had realised that David, not Ed, had stayed at the hotel.
At the launch of his memoirs, Ken Livingstone recalled the 25 pages of lawyer's notes that he had been required to answer. The barrister, Red Ken mused, wanted to know how he could prove that Tony Blair had lied. The ensuing laughter was an answer in itself, but what it would take for Blair - unlike the writ-happy lifestyle adviser Carole Caplin - to sue is an intriguing question.
I hear that the shire Tory Robert Walter's entry on the register of members' interests of "farmland in Devon" masks a very personal sadness. The former sheep farmer and City banker robustly informed a nosy hack that he pockets no European agricultural subsidies on the plot. "I own a very small parcel of land," wrote the North Dorset MP, "which contains my late wife's grave." Walter's first wife, Sally, died in 1995. The tragi-romantic response ended all inquiries.
Virtually every paper in Fleet Street, as well as this column, repeated an assertion in the Mail on Sunday (MoS) last August that the jailed former MP Elliot Morley had a £3,000 Rolex nicked while doing time. So, mea culpas all round are in order, after the MoS Corrections and Clarifications column conceded this month: “He has never owned a Rolex." Jim Callaghan remarkedthat a lie is halfway around the world before the truth gets its boots on. Morley needs a pair of running shoes to catch this one.
Last week's item about the blogger Guido Fawkes not claiming a prize of sitting for Martin Rowson prompted a reader to inform your correspondent that the cartoonist has a stuffed wolf's head in the entrance hall of his home in sarf-east London. I thought the idea was to keep the wolf from the door.
The changing face of poverty: Morrisons in Jarrow sold oysters for 60p each as a bunch of young Trots retraced the footsteps of the 1936 crusade to London.
Kevin Maguire is associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror