New Statesman - Dave and David joined in Mail bondage

Should David Miliband pip little bruvver, Red Ed, to win Labour's Oxbridge Factor, the new leader would discover he shares more than a first name and a university with David Cameron. Both also detest Paul Dacre. Tories mutter that Cameron is pulling out what's left of his barnet over the Daily Mail's right-wing offensive. Dacre, a self-appointed champion of Middle England who'd like to return the country to the Fifties - as in the 1850s - regards Druggie Dave as irredeemably louche. Meanwhile, I hear that the paper waved its fat chequebook at the American birth mothers of the shadow foreign secretary's two adopted sons. Mili is not a happy daddy, and m'learned friends are said to have been involved.

Word emerges of a debate within the Guardian over how the cartoonist Steve Bell keeps drawing Cameron's head as a condom. The editor, Alan Rusbridger, considers it overly disrespectful. Under a historic compromise, Bell may sketch Cameron as a penis sheath but minus the teat on the end. Dave should be grateful for that.

The tussle to challenge the London mayor, Boris Johnson, in 2012 is getting personal. Ken Livingstone backs a campaign to save local boozers; Oona King lives in a converted East End pub. King hit back on LBC Radio, announcing a sort of China-Plus population campaign: selfish parents damage the planet by having more than two kids, she said. King has a couple of children; Libido Livingstone has five by three mothers.

I wish Crispin Blunt well. The In-Justice Minister is now the 11th openly gay Tory MP since his diminutive colleague Alan "Dinky" Duncan in 2002 made public what everyone in Westminster had known for years. The statement by Blunt, an Old Wellingtonian, reminded me of a good line by Alan Johnson - under Cameron, the Tories have gone from a party of proud public school boys and closet gays to a party of proud homosexuals and closet public school boys.

Camp followers of the Milibrothers whisper that Ed and David share a common plan to punish Ed Balls, whichever sibling wins the Labour leadership, by appointing Yvette Cooper as shadow chancellor.

Anyone seen Willie Hague with Ffion? A Yorkshire MP mumbled that he couldn't recall when he last saw the couple together.

Kevin Maguire is associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror

2 comments from readers

Freeman
02 September 2010 at 16:52

'Anyone seen Willie Hague with Ffion? A Yorkshire MP mumbled that he couldn't recall when he last saw the couple together.'

Don't worry, they'll probably share a room when they're campaigning. To save on the expense, you know.

Guy Aitchison
02 September 2010 at 18:37

"Dacre, a self-appointed champion of Middle England who'd like to return the country to the Fifties - as in the 1850s - regards Druggie Dave as irredeemably louche."

Am I the only one who sees the irony of accusing others of intolerance and puritanism, whilst calling someone a "druggie" for soft drug taking in their teens.?

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About the writer

Kevin Maguire is Associate Editor(Politics) on the Daily Mirror and author of our Village Life column on the high politics and low life in Westminster. The award-winning journalist is in frequent demand on TV and Radio and co-authored a book on Great Parliamentary Scandals. He was formerly Chief Reporter on The Guardian and Labour Correspondent on the Daily Telegraph.