The Durham Miners' Gala waits more than 20 years for a Labour leader, then, like buses, three wannabes come along at once. Neil Kinnock was the last to speak at the "Big Meeting". John Smith, Tony Blair and Gordon Brown all snubbed the Old Labour event with its trade union banners, brass bands and fiery rhetoric. But it's amazing how a leadership contest can reconcile the New Labour and Neanderthal Labour factions, as one sniffy MP calls them. I hear David Miliband accepted an invitation to attend, while the campaign teams of both Ed Balls and Miliband Minor lobbied to get their men on the platform. But the gala will be going without again: it clashes with hustings in Southampton.
Citizen Dave is going flaky. A snout noticed what resembled a light dusting of snow on the shoulders of the people's toff. Closer inspection confirmed a case of dandruff. Perhaps Cam's scalp is a victim of the austerity regime. The PM will have to clean up his act to remain head and shoulders above his Lib Dem fag, Nick Clegg.
Diane Abbott's defence of her son's private schooling on the basis that she is West Indian, followed by Andrew Neil's suggestion that she is racist, reminded a Labour MP how she once insulted the lefty John McDonnell. As chair of the Socialist Campaign Group, McDonnell was sent with Tony Benn to ask whether she would resign as group secretary over her choice of school. "How will it look," Abbott asked, "if a white man like you gets rid of a black woman like me?" The easygoing McDonnell hit the roof: married to a Goan from Kenya, he has fought racism all his life. My informant described McDonnell's withdrawal from the Labour leadership race to allow Abbott to stand as the most selfless political act he had witnessed.
Prime ministership is yet to gain Citizen Dave the respect of Tommy "Two Dinners" Watson, a Talibrown veteran who seems to be enjoying opposition. Voting in shorts, Watson barged down the Tory side of the despatch box, and so his knobbly knees brushed Dave's made-to-measure suit. Labour MPs hooted. If a prime ministerial look of disgust could kill, Watson would be a dead man.
The millionaire merchant banker Andrew Mitchell isn't happy with his lot. As International Development Secretary, Mitchell is helping the world's poor. But with a ski chalet in the Alps - which he bought with a bonus - he's used to the finer trappings of life. That may explain why Mitchell moaned to a cabinet colleague about his department's Toyota Prius: he gets chauffeured around in one of Whitehall's smallest cars. But perhaps he should be thankful. Carless and wearing a hairshirt following the new expenses regime, his immediate predecessor, wee Dougie Alexander, had to share a berth on a sleeper to Scotland. With a German tourist.
Cameron brought forward the recent drinks at No 10 for the meeja to 5.30pm from the usual 6.30pm start. Must be thirsty work, being the PM. l
Kevin Maguire is associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror
