If revenge is a dish best served cold, then portly Tommy "Two Dinners" Watson is enjoying a second helping. The Labour MP has renewed his pursuit - interrupted by the election - of Citizen Dave's spinner, Andy Coulson, tabling upwards of a dozen parliamentary questions on everything from the salary to the security clearance of the former News of the World editor, who says he was unaware of the newspaper's telephone tapping. I hear that Coulson is convinced a Downing Street mole is behind it. Perish the thought.
Watson's baiting of Coulson has also exercised the spinner's friend and former colleague Rebekah Brooks, née Wade. When the Sun falsely claimed Watson was involved in Red Rag, perhaps the most infamous smear website never to launch, Brooks rang her pal Sarah Brown to demand
that Gordon sack Watson - who sued and won. A snout at a recent gathering of the Tory-meeja set muttered that Brooks spent the weekend obsessing about how to save Coulson and stop Watson. Perhaps the MP should be more careful what he says and where he says it.
John Terry may play for the blues of Chelsea, but as they watch him in South Africa, wistful Labour reds will wonder what might have been. Team Brown, I hear, was quietly confident of securing Terry's endorsement ahead of the election, until that messy affair with Wayne Bridge's ex lost the defender the England captaincy. Terry, it seems, screwed Gordon Brown, too.
Self-exiled in Kirkcaldy, Big Gordie has been sending thank-you notes to cabinet ministers - and Polly Toynbee. Back when the Guardian was known as the Gordian by Blairites, Toynbee led the "Tony must go, we love Gordon" campaign, despite later calls to dump the "delusional", "incompetent" PM in favour of A N Other. She was, I gather, chuffed at her discarded hero's generosity. A Talibrown veteran sniffed that his leader
has forgiven the Guardian scribbler because these days he prefers the Independent.
Are the Johnsons trying to prove that an Eton education is no guarantee of common sense? Boris the mayor has long played the fool, but his brother Jo, too, may be feeling foolish. Filling a petrol-run car with diesel isn't clever.
The future is bright in at least one corner of Westminster. Since October 2007, a bulb has burned continuously in a storeroom off Moncrieff's Bar. Staff can't turn it off: it's fitted without a switch. It would make a painless cut for Citizen Dave's austerity drive, except that the people's toff would need to invest in a socket now to save electricity later. Tricky business, economics.
Kevin Maguire is associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror