"Let me assure you, we will be watching you very closely," said Gove to one of those faceless females who are drafted in to present Newsnight at the last minute, when it becomes obvious that Paxo has ordered a second bottle with his dinner.
This may have sounded like a compliment (how often do BBC employees hear someone admit he is watching their work, let alone closely?), but was of course a threat (it's our way or no way). And it was delivered with some aplomb by "Mike" Gove. No longer does he gesticulate away, trying to be all things to all people; instead, he has the mien of an assassin at the top of his game.
Which is yet more bad news for G Osborne Esq. As I predicted last week, the bullying allegations against Brown have caused the Scot's approval ratings to soar. Rawnsley attempted to bury him and he has been praised to the skies. Our lead has disappeared quicker than a Bullingdon Club photo. And not before time, hard questions have been asked about some of those running our election campaign. Specifically, the man so arrogant as to believe he can double up this job with shadowing the Chancellor.
A delusion that exists only in his own pretty little head, for the brutal truth is that Georgie Porgy can say all he likes, but no one is listening. It was Mike and I, for instance, who outed Baron Cashcroft. Me working him over in Belize while Mike had a quick word in the green room with dear George Young before his blurt on Newsnight. It was Mike and I who visited Dave after his shambolic no notes/no thoughts speech in Brighton ("Let's get out there and win it for Britain!" - sweet Jesus) and told him from now on we would be writing the speeches and he would be reading them off the autocue. It was Mike and I who banged admen's heads together to avoid any repeats of that poster debacle - never has so much (£5m) been spent by so few (a couple of "creatives") to lose so many (an estimated 500,000 votes) - and to ensure that "Smoothy Chops" will not be reappearing plastered on a 15-foot poster any time soon.
Most significantly, it is Mike who, under my guidance, is to be our attack dog. The strategy is for Dave to tour the studios being bland (for example, the forthcoming interview with Alan Titchmarsh, a bigger plant than which it is hard to imagine), while Mike is unleashed over the airwaves to spit bile and poison. This should not only maximise our chances of winning, but also ensure that, if we lose, Mike is nicely placed to be the next leader.
