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David must goad the Guardianistas
Published 06 August 2009
The Guardian has played into the Tories' hands by threatening to close the Observer
In the end, one is often better defined by one's enemies than by one's friends. There comes a time in every man's life when he must pick his fights and woe betide him if he chooses wrong. This time has come for Cameron.
We have done the new Tory thing, we have done the “all things to all people" inclusive thing, we have a double-digit lead in the polls, but there still seems something aimless, dare one say pointless, to the whole Cameron project. It is, quite simply, no longer enough for David to do that shaking his head and pursing his lips in a concerned sort of way and promising to do whatever anyone wants him to do thing.
It is imperative that Dave stops twitting and twatting on obscure radio stations. (Even Michael White, who has been voted by MPs as the most humourless member of the press lobby for a deflating four years in a row now, described it as "not a bad Twitter joke, that", which in itself should provide fair warning. From now on, little Alan Duncan does the jokes.)
DC, meanwhile, must choose an enemy. And after spending the weekend discussing matters with, inter alios, Boris Johnson, Oliver Letwin, Antony Worrall Thompson and Willie Rees-Mogg, it seems obvious that "the row" should be had with the Guardian. It is to our advantage that the newspaper has no idea how deeply it is loathed in most of the country - how, for a large chunk of the electorate, simply to be against the Guardian is sufficient to make you worth voting for.
The trick, however, as Boris proved in his mayoral campaign, is to provoke them into making the first move. While Ken Livingstone confronted the Evening Standard head-on and damaged himself by declaring war on his constituency's only paper, Boris used his charm and insouciance and general sense of humour to needle the Guardianistas out of their tiny little minds. So magnificently did he achieve this that certain columnists even claimed they would leave the country should B J be elected. Money alone cannot buy such advertising.
Nor should it be too difficult to double up, because the Guardian has played into our hands by threatening to close the Observer. Even though no serious Tory has taken the newspaper since Suez, this is clearly a step too far. We may not read it, but we will fight for the right of others to read it. It is we who will be the defenders of the liberal press, while the Guardian ("the world's leading liberal paper" - the Guardian) will be seen as the illiberal force of repression.
On the rare occasions that Rusbridger, Toynbee and . . . whoever . . . are invited into the recording studios, it will be as easy as pie to rile them with a well-timed "What a crying shame about the dear old Obs. Terrific newspaper. Did you know George Orwell used to write for it?" This will drive them potty. And they will become pottier still when the stark comparison is drawn between the Stalinist Brown with his creature, the repressive Rusbridger, and good old David Cameron, coming across not as his usual smug self, but as a decent man doing the decent thing.
If things play our way, the election will be about tolerance against intolerance; the free society against the nanny state; laissez-faire against control freakery. And when David, with a chuckle, says about the Guardian "Thank goodness I'm their enemy when you see what they do to their friends",
he will be on the right side of every battle line.
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