From: The Unit
To: GB
Subject: Requests for GB Moneyfacts
So, a pretty good week. Really feels like there is a new atmosphere. All is flux - the world is crumbling. Tories on the back foot. Happy days are here again.
Obviously, the biggest piece of political weather-making has been the "Mandelson masterstroke" gambit. We can only apologise, when Ed sent the initial email canvassing opinions, for sending one back entitled: "Hell, Yeah! And Sarah Palin for Prince William's bride, Joe Kinnear to Defence, Charlie Kennedy as Health Tsar, Ted Heath's corpse to the IMF. Let's all get drunk and dance naked . . . !!!!!" Obviously, in our defence, we would say that before it became clear what a brilliant idea it was, it did seem like it might have been a truly terrible idea. Now we feel one thing's for certain regarding Peter - that whatever the short-term advantage, we're sure it will all turn out well in the end.
As for the back office, great shame you had to let Damian go. As you know, we were huge admirers of his work, and we are glad you finally took note of our repeated advice to fire him. Good that he's got the cubbyhole on the mezzanine and a new role working on "strategy". He certainly has got a lot of brightly coloured pens, so we are hopeful something exciting will eventually emerge. Also great to get Ed Mil in as a counterweight to David. Think the Banana Shot has clearly been a gigantic factor in remaking the current pro-you climate: a political narrative tipping-point moment it's going to be difficult for him to recover from. Probably the most memorable piece of political iconography since the Zapruder film of Kennedy's assassination.
On other matters: one thing that might be useful would be an internal economic "Moneyfacts" bulletin from you personally. The fact is that the Treasury team is frequently getting distracted by people in Whitehall seeking personal financial advice. Some informal pointers from a moneyman like yourself would be invaluable. Which building societies and banks are likely to be still trading at the end of this week, for example? And looking much longer-term - towards the end of next month? Alistair is getting bogged down, but it'd be great if you could give the team here a hint as to what you feel the wisest investment opportunities are from the three main options we have identified: fine wines, 19th-century ceramics or the Thai baht?
If you could give us a lead, think productivity would go through the roof. People could stop tracking the price of krugerrands and switching their money to international safe havens, and instead concentrate on the press work necessary to ensure that the less informed portions of the population don't follow suit.
Let us know your thoughts.
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