From: The Unit To: GB Subject: Speech

So, pretty good couple of weeks. Now think what we need to do to psychologically prepare ourselves is to accept that, after a welcome period of stagnation, we will suffer another dramatic erosion in our support as soon as we start once again to say anything whatsoever. This even includes things that aren't stunningly downbeat assessments of the country's economic situation from the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Re: organisational matters. We are hoping the permanent revolution in terms of leading advisers could turn out to be an unexpected bonus? After recent convulsions, we are running on a communication and organisational control-and-command structure that was suggested by Corin, the work experience person.

Corin went round and tried to ascertain from the various people working in the various offices here in Downing Street who they were and what they were doing. Based on this "intel", think we are now starting to pull together a pretty full picture, and it may be that even those people who were unwilling through fear of reprisals and/or dismissal may soon reveal their name and duties. Then we can really start rocking!

Anyway, we've been picking up and acting on the messages you phoned in to the office during the break and have begun as requested to draft "The Conference Speech to Save the Nation" along the lines suggested. Below are a couple of questions about ideas you mentioned:

Intro - Think your summary of the organisational history of the various international financial institutions might well be a good way to start your conference speech. Not sure it needs to be as detailed as the message you left - it ran to 78 minutes. We liked the rallying cry at the end, though: "Let us then let slip the doggedness of boldness and dog only the baldness of the ideal-less." Think this could really work, if we changed some of the words to other words.

"What's Brown and sticky? Me - Gordon Brown - and I'm sticking to my policies, particularly as regards to Child Tax Credits." We need a corking gag near the start of the speech and we could tell from the noises you made as you read this out that you found it amusing, and it definitely, definitely is.

"Osborne can kiss my arse while I light a fart." This one was clocked in at 3.09am on a Friday and there seemed to be a TV on in the background. Do you want us to try to incorporate it? It did sound like you might have sat on your phone.

"Best when I am Brownest." Later the same night. Think this is what you said on the next message? If so, we like it. What might it mean? Intriguing.

Also, current running time of what you've outlined is five hours 24 minutes - do you think that's about right?

Let us know your thoughts.

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