UK Politics
The mysterious case of the four-digit hack-tracker
Published 01 November 2007
Surveillance concerns in the press gallery and fears for the welfare of the hyperactive Michael Gove
The introduction of internal security cards with four-digit codes to gain passage within the Palace of Westminster has prompted fears that spooks will monitor the comings and goings, perhaps even the meetings, of awkward politicos and scribblers. The MI5 chap lurking in the shadows of the House has, I understand, assured press gallery representatives there will be no "Hack Track" surveillance, insisting records won't be kept. Odd that, when phone and computer companies must retain call and email details, with even corner shops forced to hand over CCTV footage when the police call. Still, who am I to question "guarantees" when the security services were so on the ball about weapons of mass destruction?
Over in the House of Cronies, M'Luds are struggling to come to terms with the new-fangled passes. The authorities have asked doddery peers to deploy a little more imagination when picking personal four-figure numbers. A high proportion have opted for 1066, the Battle of Hastings, seemingly the only date many noble chaps can remember. Maybe they recall going to school with a chap called Harold.
Concern is overheard in the Tory camp for the welfare of excitable Michael Gove (left), a shadow front bencher increasingly resembling the Thunderbirds puppet Brains with its strings tangled. Gove's hyperactivity is traced to the summer, when he turned 40 and exchanged heavy-duty specs for contact lenses as thick as glass ashtrays. That was, by coincidence, the moment he was touted as a potential successor to Druggie Dave should Cameron suffer a mishap. Gove apparently calculates it would be a battle between him and "Boy George" Osborne. Honest.
The late flourishing of heroic Vinny Cable, depriving Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah the pleasure of snubbing a Lib Dem caretaker seated behind that big pillar in the back of the Buck House banqueting suite, prompted lettuce munchers to wonder if he's the answer to their seats. Old Ming hung up his sock garters for a younger leader, yet not, I suggest, for one aged 64.
Cable is, it was pointed out, a dead ringer for evil power plant boss Mr Burns in the Simpsons though, I should add, much nicer.
Our German-born British basher of Brussels, Gisela Stuart, has gone to ground since this column revealed the Brum Labour MP was a Downing Street intervention away from disciplinary action over her "dishonest" Brown outburst. Shame she was notable by her absence at a lively "I want a referendum" rally in Westminster. Stuart's fellow plebiscite campaigners shouted frequent references to the Second World War, comparing Angela Merkel to Adolf Hitler. Compère Bob Spink, a voluble right-wing Tory, introduced the "star" speaker as not one of his own party colleagues but Ukip lip Nigel Farage.
Kevin Maguire is associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror
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