From: The Unit To: GB Subject: Election/Conference

We all loved the speech. Great length. So, on the election. Re timings - we strongly prefer the autumn option. All recent political evidence suggests everything governments do makes them more unpopular. Particularly, obviously, policies. The optimum time for the election, in our view, is therefore now, before you begin to implement the exciting and bold programme of change you've begun to outline. Which, in part due to its boldness and popularity, will lead, in our view, to an inevitable fall in support.

Our second, more radical, proposal is that you should strongly consider using the honeymoon period of the projected election win to announce a subsequent election. Although it may seem counter-intuitive, immediately after the election would be the ideal time to capitalise by booking in a new poll, say, 12 to 18 months hence. You should then be comfortably hammocked between honeymoons allowing for a bold programme of (inevitably doomed) progress.

Re Conference: After your request we've had a few thoughts about Conference and the moans and groans re "contemporary resolutions", Taser-gunning of delegates, lack of "real debate", etc, etc. When we focus group it, it turns out there's a cluster of associations around the very word "conference" - all negative, all associated with men in grey suits, bishops, small erections in polyester trousers and, of course, the Vauxhall Conference football league. Obviously a name change would expose you to a big political hit from the deadwood loyalists - but the upside might be an improved image among the discerning demographic who massively dislike you. On the basis that it is at least worth thinking about, we have brainstormed some options.

One we really like is changing Conference to the "Autumn Festival of Labour". We might keep a flavour of the old event - speeches, etc. But we could invite jugglers, fire-eaters and strolling players to walk the "Festival" floor. There could be a medieval theme and (obviously this is not going to happen) junior members of the cabinet might wear costume?

Also, what about folding Conference into another event? We've sounded out the corporate sponsors, and there is theoretically no objection to renaming one summer rock festival the "Carling Reading Labour Weekender". They would have a problem, the girl at their press office said, with the political content of Conference - but then, so have we! But seriously, if we could get bands such as, say, Snow Patrol, Keane and Coldplay to do songs that might also be resolutions about the environment, Iraq, etc, then maybe this would be a good compromise?

Real debates and/or speeches could then happen on the smaller stages in between world music acts like the remaining Bhundu Boys, the Wurzels and the Buena Vista Social Club?

Let us know your thoughts.

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