Sixty Jimmy Savile lookalikes from Leeds and other award-winners
A moment's silence, please, for all those who die of stress on the terraces
If my team can't pass these five tests, I'll be joining the Spuro-sceptics
Lakes I love, punting I hate - even if you <em>can</em> punt you look like a wanker
It may be a couch or a sofa but, whatever it is, I crouched behind it
To some, Rooney may seem a thug, a thicko, a five bellies in the making
Will the Iraq war go into extra time and a penalty shoot-out?
Television - Andrew Billen on a profile of the England football coach that's up close and impersonal
Why I paid £95 for an old programme, but noted the price in code
Confused which Spaniards are on the telly? Look at the players' bums
The only new ideas footballers have are about hairstyles and fashion
I've gone mad: I'm going to write another book about a flawed person
Lords' Dreaming: the story of the 1868 Aboriginal tour of England and beyond
Ashley Mallett <em>S
Broken Dreams: vanity, greed and the souring of British football
Tom Bower <em>Simon & Schuster, 3
Dutch fans sing in English. Could our fans sing in any foreign language?
When Sven goes, let's skip a generation - and appoint a pensioner
Now the refs are selling advertising space on their bodies - to opticians
The English were out of time and out of place at cricket's World Cup
Beckham is always trying to sell something: sunglasses, hair grease, M&S
Ossie: king of Stamford Bridge
Peter Osgood, with Martin King and Martin Knight <em>Mainstream Pub
The unlikely hero, on the day that England last won the Ashes
Britain is becoming obsessed with race and in football it's worse than ever
Andy Caddick was subjected to remorseless abuse. Why? He's got big ears
The Barmy Army may be drunk but at least they're not at sea
Three countries are currently targets for western opprobrium: Iraq, North Korea and Zimbabwe. It is no doubt a tiresome, left cliche that the present state of all three owes much to foreign and particularly western imperialism; but cliches often happen to be true.
The award for letting in goals our tortoise could have stopped goes to . . .
The judge put something on his head. But it was a pom-pom hat, not a wig
Douglas Jardine: Spartan cricketer
Christopher Douglas <em>Methuen, 222pp, £17.99</em>
If only I'd waited, my book <em>The Glory Game</em> would have got me a PhD, writes </B>Hunter Davie