It's your lucky day, I told him. I've got a spare ticket, only 50 quid
I've just had my holiday. After hearing Motty, I need another one
Every Monday, national dailies devote over 200,000 words to football
Apartheid, not the ruling regime, brought race into South African cricket
Despite its elitist and racist past, golf is a game that exudes moral force
If Arsene Wenger is so Anglophile, why are there no Brits in his team?
You get better gossip in the match press box than in the Westminster lobby
Why are there no longer any dancers at the Test matches in South Africa?
For the first time in ages, non-fashionable hair has become fashionable
Even when badly written, the beautiful game's literary outpourings hold a sleazy fascination
It struck me - after a girlfriend of mine was held at knifepoint while being stripped of her valuabl
If you throw yourself around, you can make yourself big - and world class!
I thought I'd solved the parking problem, but I ended up fuming again
How did England's cricketers end up playing in Zimbabwe, where a tyrant rules and millions starve? D
That player who has old, worn eyes. Didn't Baden Powell warn him?
A day with the hacks. Top breakfast, plush seats, but not a player in sight
"You called me a bastard," said the voice. "Last week in your column"
I meet Big Ron Atkinson, who once referred to a footballer as a "lazy, thick nigger"
Despite the British success at Athens, coaches still want more cash for elite athletes
With all the football on TV, some fans won't bother to go out for live games
It's social progress when autobiographies of footballers are in hardback
In Cockermouth, you don't get the same quality of fantasy as in London
Hunter Davies writes his first ever sponsored football column - and looks forward to many more deals
Wayne Rooney, unlike Michael Owen, does not suffer from humility
You won't believe the number of players I hate for their silly hair
I believe (deep breath) that football has become a homoerotic culture
Sven should fax in the team sheet, then watch at home like the rest of us
I'm in with the quality at Carlisle United, the Man U of the Conference league
I propose flogging for footballers who take off their socks