Like so many supposed geniuses of PR, Sophie has no idea of how to manage her own image
By Suzanne Moore - 27 September 13:00

It takes only a few months for a fairy tale to turn into a farce. In June, the nation was thrilled that the youngest of the Queen's children was finally getting himself hitched.

Come up and see me sometime - I'm in Soho now, you know
By Laurie Taylor - 27 September 13:00

I'm getting ready to move into my own office.

If you employ my system, you will win 99 per cent of the time at the roulette wheel
By Sean French - 27 September 13:00

I used to think I had the perfect system for winning at roulette. Many people believe they have perfect systems and they are all delusions, because, unless there is something wrong with the table, in the long run everybody loses except the management.

The New Statesman Profile - Jean-Pierre Chevenement
By David Lawday - 20 September 13:00

He is the French John Prescott, anti-euro, anti-market, not very pro-government. Jean-Pierre Chevene

I saw young blacks stay calm when the police intervened
By Darcus Howe - 20 September 13:00

With a new commissioner of the Metropolitan Police appointed, several commentators have taken the opportunity to voice their opinions on what should or should not be done.

My story about the librarian with a pet crocodile and a six-foot phallus was a big hit
By Laurie Taylor - 20 September 13:00

Last Wednesday night I spent two hours, sitting on a high stool in the Majestic Hotel, Harrogate, leering at women half my age.

Typical of the Murdoch press: if you disagree with something, subject it to falsehoods and distortions
By John Pilger - 20 September 13:00

During Australia's bicentenary in 1988, an editorial in Rupert Murdoch's Sun described Aborigines as "treacherous and brutal", a people without skills, arts or graces who would have wiped themselves out if left alone. This was illustrated by a stereotype of a savage.

My sex education was startlingly incomplete: I'm still extremely curious about wet dreams
By Sean French - 20 September 13:00

When I was 11 or 12, I walked into my biology class and there on the blackboard, drawn in profile, was a scrotum and penis (in a flaccid state). Next to it was a diagram of the female reproductive system. Our biology teacher walked to the front and proceeded to describe what happens during sex.

There's loads of love for everyone in Blair's new Britain
By Cristina Odone - 20 September 13:00

Listen to the telephone call between two blue-rinsed ladies in the shires. Not their chat about the garden, or the church fete, or their giggling about Portillo. No, it's the goodbye that has you doing a double-take: "Love ya lots," they chirrup, before hanging up.

He's lovely, they say. So is his family. But I can't ever meet John Peel, even though he lives nearby
By Sean French - 13 September 13:00

I heard about the various celebrations surrounding John Peel's 60th birthday with something close to alarm.

Macho man v new man? Who cares? Give me a poet any day
By Cristina Odone - 13 September 13:00

In the latest volume of her autobiography, the writer Emma Tennant reminisces about her lusty affair with the late Poet Laureate Ted Hughes. In 1976, after a drink at a bar in Notting Hill, Hughes invited Tennant back to his lair in Tufnell Park, north London.

We should not expect Muslims to be specially law-abiding
By Darcus Howe - 13 September 13:00

Quite out of the blue, we are told that 4,000 Muslims, mostly young men, are in prisons in the UK. Not Asians, not Bangladeshis, not Pakistanis, please note, but Muslims. This is supposed to be new, surprising and alarming.

Yes, it's my fault that 12-year-old girl got pregnant. Well, why not? Someone has to take the blame
By Suzanne Moore - 13 September 13:00

Whose fault is it that 12 year olds get pregnant? This is a multiple-choice question if ever I heard one. Tick one of the following answers. It's Margaret Thatcher's fault because she decimated industry, thus giving unemployed men little purpose in life except to impregnate children.

Terry has finally confronted the truth: he is Ann Widdecombe trapped in a liberal body
By Laurie Taylor - 13 September 13:00

It all started with a perfectly innocent little chat before dinner about an academic colleague of mine from Teesside University who'd decided after much personal anguishing that he was a woman in a man's body and would therefore go ahead and arrange to have what he always referred to in a capita

What can you do when, dragged along by the kids to the latest Star Wars film, you face something utterly dire?
By Sean French - 06 September 13:00

Somebody once paid tribute to Shakespeare's Mark Antony by saying that he had drunk the "stale of horses", which sounds a bit dodgy, and also that he had eaten strange flesh that other men had died simply by looking at.

They're rich: so why do Americans hate them so much?
By Cristina Odone - 06 September 13:00

Carl Russo, the 42-year-old moustachioed chief executive of Cerent, is the newest billionaire spawned by the information age. Under his direction, an information technology outfit that was ailing last year has now been sold for £7 billion.

I have had enough of this tired and vulgar carnival
By Darcus Howe - 06 September 13:00

The hairdressing story rumbles along. Last week I told the tale of Mrs Howe going to a salon in Brixton, south London, to have her hair done, and the stylist making it plain that they did not entertain people with "your kind of hair".

As British bombs rain down daily on Iraq, the Blair intelligentsia worries about Martin Amis turning 50
By John Pilger - 06 September 13:00

Following the "moral crusade" in the Balkans, there were calls for heretics to apologise. It was reminiscent of the hysteria surrounding the death of Diana Spencer and, like the froth on a cappuccino, blew away once reality was restored.

We are sure that our father's last words, as he slumped on the floor, were "that's better"
By Laurie Taylor - 06 September 13:00

Last Tuesday evening I realised with extreme alarm that although I was sitting as usual in my Posture-Wise chair, there was something about my attitude that might readily have been mistaken by a casual visitor for slumping. It was a frightening realisation.

For the guests, our annual party is merely an opportunity for acts of collective sabotage
By Laurie Taylor - 30 August 13:00

Once again it's time for our annual summer party. This year could be rather special.

My gap year wasn't a success: I learnt little from preparing the high priests for orgies in the temple
By Sean French - 30 August 13:00

Is there anything that you can't buy a guide to? This week I discovered that there is now a library of guidebooks on the subject of that thing called the gap year. It's become another industry.

The New Statesman Profile - Tricia Guild
By Jason Cowley - 30 August 13:00

New Labour's lifestyle queen bids us forget the past, be Mediterranean and flaunt our emotions. Tric

Where apartheid still thrives - at the hair salon
By Darcus Howe - 30 August 13:00

About 12 years ago I happened to be working in Kingston, Jamaica, on a television documentary. Whenever I visited the Caribbean, I would purchase the daily newspaper and turn immediately to the death announcements.

The issue of gang rape has returned to haunt us
By Darcus Howe - 23 August 13:00

I went along to Rickard Close, off Upper Tulse Hill, in Brixton. It leads to a warren of flats on a huge council estate, where a 13-year-old black girl was gang-raped. Three young men of her race held her down while a fourth raped her.

PR firms provide a wonderful service to the nation - by snapping up inadequate graduates
By Laurie Taylor - 23 August 13:00

On my way out of Red Fort, in Dean Street, I bump into a young woman wearing an elaborate shawl who tells me enthusiastically that she has recently had the good fortune to be appointed deputy media controller for a new public relations firm called Jam.

Men don't stroke their beards in order to look wise; they're looking for bits of their lunch that may still be in there
By Sean French - 23 August 13:00

I see that Boots is going to create some stores that are devoted to men's cosmetics.

Let us bury our differences and dance
By Darcus Howe - 16 August 13:00

The journey I have been commissioned to make by Channel 4 throughout England (with a detour to the Outer Hebrides) is finally over.

Colin's timely tumescence put a sudden end to Geoff's Amsterdam recollections
By Laurie Taylor - 16 August 13:00

I had my head half inside the freezer compartment and was meticulously dividing the number of ice-cubes in the tray by six, when Sally grabbed me round the shoulders and, with a breathy urgency that threatened to defrost the Ben and Jerry's Vanilla Fudge, told me to forget the after-dinner whisk

As Marx wrote, history occurs three times: first as tragedy, second as a movie, and third enacted by ducks
By Sean French - 16 August 13:00

One of the ducks that wanders around just outside our front door had nine ducklings a few months ago. Everyone loves ducklings. Little bundles of golden yellow and dark brown fluff and emitting not a horrible, loud quack but a little peeping sound.

Why do newspapers use asterisks? When readers read f*****g, I imagine they know what it f*****g means
By Suzanne Moore - 16 August 13:00

On every newspaper that I have worked on those in charge have been worried about fucking. The word, you understand, not the activity. At the Independent, Andrew Marr was always saying that there was far too much fucking, shitting and pissing going on in the paper and it had to stop.

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