I’m a chicken when it comes to hens
By Alice Miles - 19 April 9:07

There is something about hen parties that repels me. I was at Girona Airport near Barcelona two weeks ago.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty
By Samira Shackle - 19 April 9:04

Worldwide, the cosmetics industry is booming. In Italy the industry is worth €9bn each year.

Invasion of the body snatchers
By Susie Orbach - 19 April 9:01

The beauty industry steals women’s self-esteem and convinces us to spend unwisely in pursuit of phys

1,001 golf holes
By Mark Watson - 17 April 16:45

Now that I'm the wrong side of 30, my thoughts naturally turn to death on a regular basis.

The forward mulch of Labour
By Will Self - 17 April 16:39

Even people who know absolutely nothing about British politics of the past two decades still know that Peter Mandelson once mistakenly referred to mushy peas as guacamole in a Hartlepool fish-and-chip shop.

Cross-dressing, cross country
By Will Self - 08 April 13:28

The other evening I saw Eddie Izzard, the celebrated Jack-and-Jill of all theatrical trades, complete 43 nearly consecutive marathon runs.

The belly of the beast
By Nicholas Lezard - 06 April 18:59

It has come to this: buying a copy of Men's Health magazine in order to do something about my belly. It really is getting horrible; when I saw it in
profile in the mirror, I actually screamed.

I can’t get religious about the Book
By Alice Miles - 06 April 18:58

The younger students are much more hi-tech than we older ones. They move easily around PowerPoint and multicoloured computer presentations, and sit in lectures fiddling with their BlackBerries.

Class Monitor: the cleaners
By Michael Hodges - 05 April 10:22

We're with the cleaners on the 5am shift, finishing up the first cup of tea of the day in the half-light of the large Victorian pub. "Better start, then," declares Maureen, unofficial leader of the three-woman team.

New Statesman
The Pope, the people and the paedophiles
By John Cornwell - 01 April 8:11

The worldwide scandal of Catholic paedophile priests threatens to become the gravest crisis in the modern history of the Church. As Pope Benedict XVI prepares to visit Britain to beatify Cardinal Newman, we look at the life of this humane Catholic convert

Of men and monsters
By Terry Eagleton - 01 April 8:11

Acknowledging that wickedness exists doesn’t mean you have to believe in the existence of Satan. And

I’m a receipt offender
By Nicholas Lezard - 29 March 8:14

At King's Cross, starving and honour-bound never to buy anything from Burger King ever again (see my column from a few weeks ago), I go to the West Country Pasty Company stall and buy a sausage roll.

The landline that time forgot
By Mark Watson - 27 March 10:43

The spate of recent news stories about the dangers of social networking has only served to remind me how dizzyingly quickly communications have moved on since I was young - a chilling four-word phrase which, having turned 30,

Sam gets ready to stand by her pram
By Sophie Elmhirst - 26 March 8:06

There's no escape from media obsession for modern political wives. But it seems they're only too wil

The Post Office Tower is talking to me
By Nicholas Lezard - 22 March 8:11

I ask Razors if he still calls it the Post Office Tower. He looks almost hurt. "Of course I do."

It’s life, gym, but not as we know it
By Alice Miles - 21 March 9:18

I have always considered health clubs with deep suspicion. It comes, I think, from living in London for most of my life.

Class Monitor: Young Offenders
By Michael Hodges - 19 March 8:32

The wind whips at the figures on the hillside. The young offenders have screwed-up faces and shaved heads. One or two appear angry, but most are merely cold and probably not very bright.

Good idea: Pregnant pause
By Alyssa McDonald - 19 March 8:30

Here's a statement you don't often come across when British teenage pregnancies are the subject of conversation: "Numbers of teenage mothers are relatively small." Tabloid horror headlines might suggest otherwise, but as Jane

Bruni’s cyber bra brouhaha
By Sophie Elmhirst - 19 March 8:02

First Carla Bruni’s nipples sent the British press into a frenzy. Then a flurry of tweets had the Fr

My brilliant imaginary career
By Nicholas Lezard - 15 March 8:14

To Balham to see my friend Ella Montclare perform a set of unbelievably good trip-hop at the Bedford.

Stuck in the middle with youth
By Alice Miles - 15 March 8:14

It's a funny thing to worry about a statistics assignment after 20 years of writing columns for national newspapers.

God bless Wayne’s socks and metatarsals
By Hunter Davies - 12 March 8:19

I'm still in a deep depression over England. I was so pissed off by their display against Egypt, and even more so by the under-21s against Greece.

Dirty cash, I want you
By Nicholas Lezard - 08 March 9:30

It is time, I have decided, to become more corrupt. Print journalism may be in a terrible state, but I still know quite a few print journalists who are getting some excellent freebies.

The tragic roundabout
By Nicholas Lezard - 01 March 8:12

I sometimes wonder whether public transport in this country is secretly run by the Lord's Day Observance Society.

Armageddon out of here
By Will Self - 22 February 8:25

Conspiracy theories are articles of faith for the masses in an age of unbelief.

Fiddler in the roof
By Nicholas Lezard - 22 February 8:17

Time, I am told, to clear out the books from my study. After about two and a half years, it has been, I concede, long enough. Besides, not only is the ex-wife on my case, so is my daughter.

God botherers
By Mark Watson - 18 February 7:09

There's "probably no God", apparently. I read it on the back of a bus last year, courtesy of an advertisement paid for by the British Humanist Association.

Pretty fry for a white guy
By Will Self - 15 February 8:21

One of the most realest meals there is in the so-called developed world is a hotel breakfast. I say this for a simple reason: no one - unless they are close to expiring - refuses it.

Tipping up at A&E
By Nicholas Lezard - 12 February 9:28

To A -- 's and E -- 's for dinner. They are great friends of the Woman I Love, so I am mindful of the need to be on my best behaviour.

Food, Inc (PG)
By Ryan Gilbey - 11 February 7:09

A shocking, if preachy, exposé of the food industry.

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