Not even David Suchet can rescue this dull tale of Catholic intrigue
The Last Confession Theatre Royal Haymarket, London WC2
As if it were a rebuke to all the West End's summer silliness - orcs, nuns, Elaine Paige aboard a chaise longue - Roger Crane's severe "thriller" The Last Confession comes to the Theatre Royal Haymarket. I use inverted commas because, although this is how the play is described, it's not really a thriller at all. At least, not in the way that Patrick Hamilton's murder-mystery Gaslight is a thriller.
Set in 1978, The Last Confession stars David Suchet as the ambitious Giovanni Benelli, Cardinal of Florence, who is rather dashing in his scarlet robes but slightly less convincing on the faith front. Indeed, he doesn't actually believe in all that incense and candles stuff at all, which is presumably why there is no incense in David Jones's gloomy production. One would have thought that a theatrical thriller set in the Vatican would be reeking of the stuff.
Anyway, Benelli is instrumental in appointing his genial friend Albino Luciani (Richard O'Callaghan), the Cardinal of Venice, as Pope John Paul I. A good and decent man, the new pope immediately sets about changing a few things in his manor. He decides to cut through all the pomp and circumstance by refusing to have himself "crowned" as pontiff. Second, he wanders about the streets of Rome, talking to poor people. He then decides to unseat a few of the Vatican's long-timers and send them back to their parishes in far-off places like Chicago.
In modern office jargon, this is what's known as "churning", and John Paul I's churning doesn't go down well in the Vatican. Some cardinals refuse to go. A muttering campaign begins. Then the pope dies, suddenly, after only 33 days in the job. And just as he was about to appoint our friend Benelli as secretary of state.
I can see why Crane, a New York lawyer, was attracted to this tale. In a way, it's a bit like the conspiracy theories surrounding the death of Diana, Princess of Wales. Someone - an innocent - is given a powerful position in the centre of a closed shop and decides to open things out a bit. In both cases, the organisation closes ranks and the interloper is ejected, with fatal consequences. The only difference is that, while the Diana story had a cast of beautiful women, playboys and royalty with which to juggle, Crane must get his drama from a collection of elderly men in red gowns who enjoy cross-examining one another, if not on the eternal issue of angels dancing on a pin, then about something quite nearby in the haberdashery department.
It's not very thrilling, or indeed, dramatic. Jones does his best with his material. The cardinals are suitably grandiose and villainous; William Dudley's set, with its grilles and projected ecclesiastical vistas, is reasonably intriguing; and Fotini Dimou's gloriously flowing costumes, broadly speaking, make up for the dismal lack of smells and bells. But, for all that, Jones cannot hide the overly academic, dry tone of this play, which would have worked just as well on radio as on the stage.
Perhaps The Last Confession has simply been staged at the wrong time. On the day I saw it, the entire area around the theatre had been closed off thanks to the discovery of two car bombs the day before. Overshadowed by the encroaching threat of terrorism, Catholic infighting at the Vatican seemed almost a luxury. Even the crux of the play - the death of John Paul I, the "smiling pope", failed to impress, largely because it is so difficult to add spice to someone who is nothing but goodness and sincerity. While Crane is clearly good at writing legal arguments, he cannot do complex characters. Suchet's performance is meaty enough, but there is no point in using such an actor if he doesn't have the material to work around.
On the evidence of this production, John Paul I's most profound flaw was that he enjoyed eating sweets. And, with the best will in the world, no one is ever going to say that about Diana.
For further info and booking details log on to: http://www.trh.co.uk
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Bedroom Farce
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Alan Ayckbourn classic closes 7 July.
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