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Morning Call: pick of the papers

The ten must-read comment pieces from this morning's papers. 

1. British politics is broken - and only Nigel Farage is profiting (Daily Telegraph)

The Ukip chief is alone among the party leaders in being able to navigate our shattered political landscape, writes Peter Oborne.

2. Google ruling shows EU law is an ass (Financial Times)

The right to delete does not mean history should be hidden from the collective view, writes John Gapper. 

3. The tech firms hate the Google verdict, but they can't be beyond the law (Guardian)

The digital industry's attacks on the "right to be forgotten" ruling should be treated with icy scepticism, says Martin Kettle. 

4. The chief executive of Pfizer failed to dispel the impression that tax, and tax alone, brought him here (Independent)

He failed to persuade the impartial observer that his company’s promises were credible, says an Independent editorial. 

5. We are not at war over free school lunches (Times)

Both coalition partners support this policy – because it has been proved that it help pupils to get better results, write Michael Gove and David Laws.

6. The rise of Europe's far right will only be halted by a populism of the left (Guardian)

Ukip's advance is part of a wider discontent, fed by EU-wide austerity and revulsion against an anti-democratic stitch-up, says Seumas Milne. 

7. Free speech must trump the right to privacy (Times)

The European Court ruling on internet searches will protect the powerful, not those who make innocent mistakes, says David Aaronovitch.

8. The Jo Shuter saga shows that even heroes need scrutiny (Guardian)

The swindling super-head has demonstrated the folly of giving local leaders freedom over their budgets, says Steve Richards.

9. Little Hannah gets her first taste of immigration red tape (Daily Telegraph)

Trying to get a passport for a baby highlights the absurdities of our passports system, says Sue Cameron. 

10. Bank of England Governor Mark Carney parks rate bus (Daily Mail)

Fear of a rise in rates in the early months of next year looks to have retreated into the middle distance, writes Alex Brummer. 
Steve Garry
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The footie is back. Three weeks in and what have we learned so far?

Barcleys, boots and big names... the Prem is back.

Another season, another reason for making whoopee cushions and giving them to Spurs fans to cheer them up during the long winter afternoons ahead. What have we learned so far?

Big names are vital. Just ask the manager of the Man United shop. The arrival of Schneiderlin and Schweinsteiger has done wonders for the sale of repro tops and they’ve run out of letters. Benedict Cumberbatch, please join Carlisle United. They’re desperate for some extra income.

Beards are still in. The whole Prem is bristling with them, the skinniest, weediest player convinced he’s Andrea Pirlo. Even my young friend and neighbour Ed Miliband has grown a beard, according to his holiday snaps. Sign him.

Boots Not always had my best specs on, but here and abroad I detect a new form of bootee creeping in – slightly higher on the ankle, not heavy-plated as in the old days but very light, probably made from the bums of newborn babies.

Barclays Still driving me mad. Now it’s screaming from the perimeter boards that it’s “Championing the true Spirit of the Game”. What the hell does that mean? Thank God this is its last season as proud sponsor of the Prem.

Pitches Some groundsmen have clearly been on the weeds. How else can you explain the Stoke pitch suddenly having concentric circles, while Southampton and Portsmouth have acquired tartan stripes? Go easy on the mowers, chaps. Footballers find it hard enough to pass in straight lines.

Strips Have you seen the Everton third kit top? Like a cheap market-stall T-shirt, but the colour, my dears, the colour is gorgeous – it’s Thames green. Yes, the very same we painted our front door back in the Seventies. The whole street copied, then le toot middle classes everywhere.

Scott Spedding Which international team do you think he plays for? I switched on the telly to find it was rugby, heard his name and thought, goodo, must be Scotland, come on, Scotland. Turned out to be the England-France game. Hmm, must be a member of that famous Cumbrian family, the Speddings from Mirehouse, where Tennyson imagined King Arthur’s Excalibur coming out the lake. Blow me, Scott Spedding turns out to be a Frenchman. Though he only acquired French citizenship last year, having been born and bred in South Africa. What’s in a name, eh?

Footballers are just so last season. Wayne Rooney and Harry Kane can’t score. The really good ones won’t come here – all we get is the crocks, the elderly, the bench-warmers, yet still we look to them to be our saviour. Oh my God, let’s hope we sign Falcao, he’s a genius, will make all the difference, so prayed all the Man United fans. Hold on: Chelsea fans. I’ve forgotten now where he went. They seek him here, they seek him there, is he alive or on the stairs, who feckin’ cares?

John Stones of Everton – brilliant season so far, now he is a genius, the solution to all of Chelsea’s problems, the heir to John Terry, captain of England for decades. Once he gets out of short trousers and learns to tie his own laces . . .

Managers are the real interest. So refreshing to have three young British managers in the Prem – Alex Neil at Norwich (34), Eddie Howe at Bournemouth (37) and that old hand at Swansea, Garry Monk, (36). Young Master Howe looks like a ball boy. Or a tea boy.

Mourinho is, of course, the main attraction. He has given us the best start to any of his seasons on this planet. Can you ever take your eyes off him? That handsome hooded look, that sarcastic sneer, the imperious hand in the air – and in his hair – all those languages, he’s so clearly brilliant, and yet, like many clever people, often lacking in common sense. How could he come down so heavily on Eva Carneiro, his Chelsea doctor? Just because you’re losing? Yes, José has been the best fun so far – plus Chelsea’s poor start. God, please don’t let him fall out with Abramovich. José, we need you.

Hunter Davies is a journalist, broadcaster and profilic author perhaps best known for writing about the Beatles. He is an ardent Tottenham fan and writes a regular column on football for the New Statesman.

This article first appeared in the 27 August 2015 issue of the New Statesman, Isis and the new barbarism