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Morning Call: pick of the papers

The ten must-read comment pieces from this morning's papers.

1. Despite the Nigel Evans trial, the wrongly accused are not the main victims in rape cases (Guardian)

Yes the innocent MP suffered, but we must not go back to the Jimmy Savile era and ignore those who've been sexually abused, says Owen Jones.

2. Ed’s big mistake was his break with the past (Times)

Great things happened in the Blair and Brown years, writes John McTernan. Taking pride in those successes would give Labour a bit of swagger.

3. Banks fiddled while Rome burned: how to predict the next global financial crisis (Guardian)

Amid signs of another asset bubble, and as memories of the last crisis fade, we might be seeing the beginnings of the next crash, writes Larry Elliott. 

4. The Lib Dems are a Goldilocks party or they are nothing (Times)

‘Thatcherism plus immigration’ will never be a vote-winner, says Stephen Tall. 

5. This could be when Greece defaults (Financial Times)

It not in recession nor is it recovering, writes Wolfgang Münchau. It has collapsed. But there is another story.

6. Incentives to mitigate climate change are not in vain (Independent)

The latest IPCC report gives reasons to believe that climate change can be tackled, says an Independent editorial. 

7. Labour must be more pro-business (Financial Times)

The electoral clock is ticking and it needs to go further and faster, writes Alan Milburn.

8. Tory-led coalition should pay high price for turning dream of owning own home into a nightmare (Daily Mirror)

In building his so-called recovery on the quicksands of soaring house prices and debt, George Osborne prices Generation Rent out of buying a roof over their head, writes Kevin Maguire. 

9. Britain's economy needs more than just growth (Guardian)

The positive GDP figures are well timed for the 2015 election, but inequality in education will hold us back in the long term, warns Chris Huhne. 

10. A welcome plan to ease the pressure on hospitals (Daily Telegraph)

The only question, as the pressures on the NHS mount, is whether it will be anywhere near enough, says a Telegraph editorial. 

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An alternative Trainspotting script for John Humphrys’ Radio 4 “Choose Life” tribute

Born chippy.

Your mole often has Radio 4’s Today programme babbling away comfortingly in the background while emerging blinking from the burrow. So imagine its horror this morning, when the BBC decided to sully this listening experience with John Humphrys doing the “Choose Life” monologue from Trainspotting.

“I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got Radio 4?” he concluded, as a nation cringed.

Introduced as someone who has “taken issue with modernity”, Humphrys launched into the film character Renton’s iconic rant against the banality of modern life.

But Humphrys’ role as in-studio curmudgeon is neither endearing nor amusing to this mole. Often tasked with stories about modern technology and digital culture by supposedly mischievous editors, Humphrys sounds increasingly cranky and ill-informed. It doesn’t exactly make for enlightening interviews. So your mole has tampered with the script. Here’s what he should have said:

“Choose life. Choose a job and then never retire, ever. Choose a career defined by growling and scoffing. Choose crashing the pips three mornings out of five. Choose a fucking long contract. Choose interrupting your co-hosts, politicians, religious leaders and children. Choose sitting across the desk from Justin Webb at 7.20 wondering what you’re doing with your life. Choose confusion about why Thought for the Day is still a thing. Choose hogging political interviews. Choose anxiety about whether Jim Naughtie’s departure means there’s dwindling demand for grouchy old men on flagship political radio shows. Choose a staunch commitment to misunderstanding stories about video games and emoji. Choose doing those stories anyway. Choose turning on the radio and wondering why the fuck you aren’t on on a Sunday morning as well. Choose sitting on that black leather chair hosting mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows (Mastermind). Choose going over time at the end of it all, pishing your last few seconds on needlessly combative questions, nothing more than an obstacle to that day’s editors being credited. Choose your future. Choose life . . .”

I'm a mole, innit.