Morning Call: pick of the papers

The ten must-read comment pieces from this morning's papers.

1. Miliband can build a new Labour majority (Times)

Claiming to lead a "One Nation Party", Miliband must pursue a 40 per cent strategy and build a new election-winning coalition, writes Marcus Roberts.

2. Political parties have been deserted, and no wonder (Daily Telegraph)

Today’s voters want a constant conversation, not set-piece occasions that pay them no heed, writes Charles Moore.

3. Luckily for Ed Miliband, Labour is not as ruthless as he is (Guardian)

Another good Labour conference speech may boost ratings, but it is the day-to-day combat that will decide who occupies No 10, says Jonathan Freedland.

4. We have the Germany we always wanted (Financial Times)

Mature politics and economic power are what make the country special, writes Tony Barber.

5. Damian McBride's book details past machinations, but its impact will reverberate through the present - and the future (Independent)

Brown’s main allies now lead the party, writes Steve Richards. The tension has not died.

6. Embrace the hollowing out of London (Financial Times)

We should build on the city’s status as a global playground, writes Ben Rogers.

7. Give us sunny Conservatism again, Dave (Times)

The PM must renew his otimistic message and defeat Clegg’s attempt to paint Tories as panto villains, says Matthew Parris.

8. Labour Party conference: the future not the past (Guardian)

Polls have begun to show the Conservatives level pegging, and the unions, the leader and policy all need to be addressed, says a Guardian editorial.

9. A president but not the supreme leader – and therein lies the problem for Hassan Rouhani (Independent)

The Iranians are spinning in the media so that the centrifuges can keep on spinning, says David Usborne.

10. What rubbish, Sir Simon! Our intelligence agencies are not outside the law (Guardian)

Real issues arise out of the Snowden affair, but British security laws keep us safe without intruding on citizens' freedoms, says Malcolm Rifkind.

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Commons Confidential: Smith, selfies and pushy sons

All the best gossip from party conference, including why Dennis Skinner is now the MP for Selfie Central.

Owen Smith discovered the hard way at the Labour party conference in Liverpool that one moment you’re a contender and the next you’re a nobody. The party booked a luxurious suite at the plush Pullman Hotel for Candidate Smith before the leadership result. He was required to return the key card the day after Jeremy Corbyn’s second coming. On the upside, Smith no longer had to watch his defeat replayed endlessly on the apartment’s giant  flat-screen TV.

The Labour back-room boffin Patrick Heneghan, the party’s executive director of elections, had good cause to be startled when a TV crew pounced on him to demand an interview. The human submarine rarely surfaces in public and anonymity is his calling card. It turns out that the bespectacled Heneghan was mistaken for Owen Smith – a risky likeness when vengeful Corbynistas are on rampage. There’s no evidence of Smith being mistaken for Heneghan, though. Yet.

Members of Labour’s governing National Executive Committee are discovering new passions to pass the time during interminable meetings, as the Mods and the Corbs battle over each line of every decision. The shadow cabinet attack dog Jon “Sparkle” Ashworth, son of a casino croupier and a bunny girl, whiles away the hours by reading the poetry of Walt Whitman and W B Yeats on his iPad. Sparkle has learned that, to echo Whitman, to be with those he likes is enough.

I discovered Theresa May’s bit of rough – the grizzled Tory chairman, Patrick McLoughlin, a former Derbyshire coal miner – does his gardening in steel-toecapped wellies stamped “NCB” from his time down the pit thirty years ago. He’ll need his industrial footwear in Birmingham to kick around Tories revolting over grammar schools and Brexit.

Another ex-miner, Dennis Skinner, was the MP for Selfie Central in Liverpool, where a snap with the Beast of Bolsover was a popular memento. Alas, no cameras captured him in the Commons library demonstrating the contorted technique of speed-walkers. His father once inquired, “Why tha’ waddling tha’ bloody arse?” in Skinner’s younger days, when he’d top 7mph. Observers didn’t dare.

The Northern Poorhouse minister Andrew Percy moans that he’s been allocated a broom cupboard masquerading as an office in the old part of parliament. My snout claims that Precious Percy grumbled: “It’s so small, my human rights are violated.” Funny how the only “rights” many Tories shout about are their own.

The son of a very prominent Labour figure was caught trying to smuggle friends without passes into the secure conference zone in Liverpool. “Don’t you know who I am?” The cop didn’t, but he does now.

Kevin Maguire is the associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror

Kevin Maguire is Associate Editor (Politics) on the Daily Mirror and author of our Commons Confidential column on the high politics and low life in Westminster. An award-winning journalist, he is in frequent demand on television and radio and co-authored a book on great parliamentary scandals. He was formerly Chief Reporter on the Guardian and Labour Correspondent on the Daily Telegraph.

This article first appeared in the 29 September 2016 issue of the New Statesman, May’s new Tories