Morning Call: pick of the papers

The ten must-read comment pieces from this morning's papers.

1. Why the world faces climate chaos (Financial Times)

We will watch the rise in greenhouse gases until it is too late to do anything about it, writes Martin Wolf.

2. Will Ed Miliband be the Doctor Who of politics? (Daily Telegraph)

Labour must decide its policy on welfare soon or be forced to dance to the Chancellor’s tune, says Mary Riddell.

3. A Tory-led Europe exit would unleash a carnival of reaction (Guardian)

The nationalist right has long set the agenda, writes Seumas Milne. Labour should back a referendum and make the progressive case.

4. Which part of your manifesto is for real? (Times)

Politicians will be pressed to say which of their promises are non-negotiable in the event of another coalition, writes Daniel Finkelstein.

5. Cameron and his party conspire to create a European shambles (Daily Telegraph)

The Prime Minister’s concessions over the EU referendum have eroded his authority, says Iain Martin.

6. Data geeks are going to change the way we live (Times)

Clever information will cut crime, reduce surgery costs and create billions of new wealth, says Stephan Shakespeare.

7. The UK could reshape the EU if it would only try (Financial Times)

Political leaders must show they want and expect to stay in the EU, writes Charles Grant.

8. This rebellion is Cameron's Maastricht. He should have seen it coming (Guardian)

Every Tory leader should expect a revolt over Europe, writes Melissa Kite. But this time the rebels' anger goes much deeper.

9. Afghan exit - or is it a very long goodbye? (Daily Mail)

The US appetite for interference on a global scale continues to unsettle the world, writes Andrew Alexander.

10. The awful prevalence of grooming gangs (Independent)

Such crimes would be distressing enough in isolation, says an Independent editorial. What is worse is that the authorities could have done something about them so much earlier.

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Pity the Premier League – so much money can get you into all sorts of bother

You’ve got to feel sorry for our top teams. It's hard work, maintaining their brand.

I had lunch with an old girlfriend last week. Not old, exactly, just a young woman of 58, and not a girlfriend as such – though I have loads of female friends; just someone I knew as a girl on our estate in Cumbria when she was growing up and I was friendly with her family.

She was one of many kind, caring people from my past who wrote to me after my wife died in February, inviting me to lunch, cheer up the poor old soul. Which I’ve not been. So frightfully busy.

I never got round to lunch till last week.

She succeeded in her own career, became pretty well known, but not as well off financially as her husband, who is some sort of City whizz.

I visited her large house in the best part of Mayfair, and, over lunch, heard about their big estate in the West Country and their pile in Majorca, finding it hard to take my mind back to the weedy, runny-nosed little girl I knew when she was ten.

Their three homes employ 25 staff in total. Which means there are often some sort of staff problems.

How awful, I do feel sorry for you, must be terrible. It’s not easy having money, I said, managing somehow to keep back the fake tears.

Afterwards, I thought about our richest football teams – Man City, Man United and Chelsea. It’s not easy being rich like them, either.

In football, there are three reasons you have to spend the money. First of all, because you can. You have untold wealth, so you gobble up possessions regardless of the cost, and regardless of the fact that, as at Man United, you already have six other superstars playing in roughly the same position. You pay over the odds, as with Pogba, who is the most expensive player in the world, even though any halfwit knows that Messi and Ronaldo are infinitely more valuable. It leads to endless stresses and strains and poor old Wayne sitting on the bench.

Obviously, you are hoping to make the team better, and at the same time have the luxury of a whole top-class team sitting waiting on the bench, who would be desired by every other club in Europe. But the second reason you spend so wildly is the desire to stop your rivals buying the same players. It’s a spoiler tactic.

Third, there’s a very modern and stressful element to being rich in football, and that’s the need to feed the brand. Real Madrid began it ten years or so ago with their annual purchase of a galáctico. You have to refresh the team with a star name regularly, whatever the cost, if you want to keep the fans happy and sell even more shirts round the world each year.

You also need to attract PROUD SUPPLIERS OF LAV PAPER TO MAN CITY or OFFICIAL PROVIDER OF BABY BOTTLES TO MAN UNITED or PARTNERS WITH CHELSEA IN SUGARY DRINK. These suppliers pay a fortune to have their product associated with a famous Premier League club – and the club knows that, to keep up the interest, they must have yet another exciting £100m star lined up for each new season.

So, you can see what strains and stresses having mega money gets them into, trying to balance all these needs and desires. The manager will get the blame in the end when things start to go badly on the pitch, despite having had to accommodate some players he probably never craved. If you’re rich in football, or in most other walks in life, you have to show it, have all the required possessions, otherwise what’s the point of being rich?

One reason why Leicester did so well last season was that they had no money. This forced them to bond and work hard, make do with cheapo players, none of them rubbish, but none the sort of galáctico a super-Prem club would bother with.

Leicester won’t repeat that trick this year. It was a one-off. On the whole, the £100m player is better than the £10m player. The rich clubs will always come good. But having an enormous staff, at any level, is all such a worry for the rich. You have to feel sorry . . .

Hunter Davies’s “The Beatles Book” is published by Ebury

Hunter Davies is a journalist, broadcaster and profilic author perhaps best known for writing about the Beatles. He is an ardent Tottenham fan and writes a regular column on football for the New Statesman.

This article first appeared in the 29 September 2016 issue of the New Statesman, May’s new Tories