Morning Call: pick of the papers

The ten must-read comment pieces from this morning's papers.

1. Now the Tories see the reality of public-spending cuts - and they don't like it (Independent)

Public spending can have more benevolent consequences than some ministers dared to realise in 2010, writes Steve Richards. They realise it now.

2. Hugo Chávez: an unfinished revolution (Guardian)

The truth is that there was indeed something of greatness about Chávez, says a Guardian editorial.

3. Hugo Chávez - an era of grand political illusion comes to an end (Independent)

Chávez leaves a Venezuela crippled by poverty, violence and crime, says an Independent editorial.

4. Sir David Nicholson doesn't deserve to be hounded out (Daily Telegraph)

The NHS boss could not have known what was happening on the ground during the Mid Staffs hospital crisis, says Sue Cameron.

5. Let's build more homes - who wouldn't vote for that? (Guardian)

Politicians are trying to dodge it, but the way to heal our warped housing market is to invest for the public benefit again, says Zoe Williams.

6. Welcome signs of life from Chilcot (Independent)

This week provided a rare and fleeting glimpse this week of what the Chilcot report on Iraq might produce, says an Independent editorial.

7. It’s plain what George Osborne needs to do – so just get on and do it (Daily Telegraph)

The politics are tricky, but the Budget must confront some hard economic choices, writes Jeremy Warner.

8. No formula can better a mother’s milk (Financial Times)

Children across Asia are being denied the incalculable benefits of breastfeeding, writes David Pilling. 

9. The US was midwife to Comandante Chávez (Times) (£)

Venezuela’s message is that all people desire liberty, dignity and democracy, writes David Aaronovitch. Treat them as you would be treated.

10. Billionaire’s club has become less exclusive (Financial Times)

Those yearning for recognition of their wealth should consider giving their riches away, writes John Gapper.

Steve Garry
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The footie is back. Three weeks in and what have we learned so far?

Barcleys, boots and big names... the Prem is back.

Another season, another reason for making whoopee cushions and giving them to Spurs fans to cheer them up during the long winter afternoons ahead. What have we learned so far?

Big names are vital. Just ask the manager of the Man United shop. The arrival of Schneiderlin and Schweinsteiger has done wonders for the sale of repro tops and they’ve run out of letters. Benedict Cumberbatch, please join Carlisle United. They’re desperate for some extra income.

Beards are still in. The whole Prem is bristling with them, the skinniest, weediest player convinced he’s Andrea Pirlo. Even my young friend and neighbour Ed Miliband has grown a beard, according to his holiday snaps. Sign him.

Boots Not always had my best specs on, but here and abroad I detect a new form of bootee creeping in – slightly higher on the ankle, not heavy-plated as in the old days but very light, probably made from the bums of newborn babies.

Barclays Still driving me mad. Now it’s screaming from the perimeter boards that it’s “Championing the true Spirit of the Game”. What the hell does that mean? Thank God this is its last season as proud sponsor of the Prem.

Pitches Some groundsmen have clearly been on the weeds. How else can you explain the Stoke pitch suddenly having concentric circles, while Southampton and Portsmouth have acquired tartan stripes? Go easy on the mowers, chaps. Footballers find it hard enough to pass in straight lines.

Strips Have you seen the Everton third kit top? Like a cheap market-stall T-shirt, but the colour, my dears, the colour is gorgeous – it’s Thames green. Yes, the very same we painted our front door back in the Seventies. The whole street copied, then le toot middle classes everywhere.

Scott Spedding Which international team do you think he plays for? I switched on the telly to find it was rugby, heard his name and thought, goodo, must be Scotland, come on, Scotland. Turned out to be the England-France game. Hmm, must be a member of that famous Cumbrian family, the Speddings from Mirehouse, where Tennyson imagined King Arthur’s Excalibur coming out the lake. Blow me, Scott Spedding turns out to be a Frenchman. Though he only acquired French citizenship last year, having been born and bred in South Africa. What’s in a name, eh?

Footballers are just so last season. Wayne Rooney and Harry Kane can’t score. The really good ones won’t come here – all we get is the crocks, the elderly, the bench-warmers, yet still we look to them to be our saviour. Oh my God, let’s hope we sign Falcao, he’s a genius, will make all the difference, so prayed all the Man United fans. Hold on: Chelsea fans. I’ve forgotten now where he went. They seek him here, they seek him there, is he alive or on the stairs, who feckin’ cares?

John Stones of Everton – brilliant season so far, now he is a genius, the solution to all of Chelsea’s problems, the heir to John Terry, captain of England for decades. Once he gets out of short trousers and learns to tie his own laces . . .

Managers are the real interest. So refreshing to have three young British managers in the Prem – Alex Neil at Norwich (34), Eddie Howe at Bournemouth (37) and that old hand at Swansea, Garry Monk, (36). Young Master Howe looks like a ball boy. Or a tea boy.

Mourinho is, of course, the main attraction. He has given us the best start to any of his seasons on this planet. Can you ever take your eyes off him? That handsome hooded look, that sarcastic sneer, the imperious hand in the air – and in his hair – all those languages, he’s so clearly brilliant, and yet, like many clever people, often lacking in common sense. How could he come down so heavily on Eva Carneiro, his Chelsea doctor? Just because you’re losing? Yes, José has been the best fun so far – plus Chelsea’s poor start. God, please don’t let him fall out with Abramovich. José, we need you.

Hunter Davies is a journalist, broadcaster and profilic author perhaps best known for writing about the Beatles. He is an ardent Tottenham fan and writes a regular column on football for the New Statesman.

This article first appeared in the 27 August 2015 issue of the New Statesman, Isis and the new barbarism