Morning Call: pick of the papers

The ten must-read comment pieces from this morning's papers.

1. This budget is just as I feared (Guardian)

Only growth can save us from a lost decade, says Alistair Darling. But George Osborne is risking not just recession but depression.

2. Labour made the mess, but the Tories are only making it worse (Daily Telegraph)

The ugly truth is that there appears to be no political solution to the calamity facing us all, says Peter Oborne.

3. Shrewd politics hides brutal economics (Financial Times)

The Chancellor cannot disguise that economic outcomes are drifting further from expectations, writes Martin Wolf.

4. Trapped by his own ideology, the Chancellor is lonelier than ever (Independent)

Cabinet ministers are becoming more assertive, behind the scenes and publicly, writes Steve Richards.

5. Why we should be cautious about cheering on Cyprus's no vote (Guardian)

The main demand of this week's 'parliamentary revolt' was that Cyprus remain an offshore tax haven, writes Nikos Chrysoloras.

6. Osborne’s play for the strivers (Financial Times)

The chancellor had to revive his party’s winning tradition as the friend of the aspirational classes, writes Janan Ganesh.

7. This Budget was too hopeful. We want despair (Times)

The Chancellor calls Britain an ‘aspiration nation’, but we all know we’re in a mess, writes Matthew Parris. His best policy is to admit it.

8. George may seem unlovable but the smirking alternative would lead us to perdition (Daily Mail)

We must never forget that the only alternative government on offer will be led by Miliband and Balls, says Max Hastings.

9. Rights and wrongs of a Royal Charter (Independent)

An Independent editorial says that "with reluctance", the paper has accepted the use of a Royal Charter to create a new press regulator.

10. Good parenting can’t be measured in GDP (Daily Telegraph)

What does our Cabinet, mainly upper-class males, understand of real-world child care dilemmas, asks Allison Pearson. 

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Pro-Trump site “reveals” Hillary Clinton’s “hitman and secret sex fixer” to be… Ed Miliband

Unsubstantiated cobblers? Why not spice it up with a picture of the former leader of the Labour party awkwardly standing?

The weekly pro-Trump supermarket tabloid, The National Enquirer, ran an unsubstantiated story recently allegedly quoting a former Hillary Clinton bag carrier. The source, described as a “hitman” and “fixer”, provided a WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!!! about all the things that Clinton supposedly made him do – involving (hold your horses, America!) sex and money.

The story was picked up by a pro-Trump site called American News, and other murky corners of the internet’s alt-right, and illustrated with an even more bollocks (if that’s possible) photo. It’s a picture of Bill Clinton shaking Nick Clegg’s hand – with Ed Miliband lurking nearby, giving them the side-eye.

Looks familiar, right?

But never mind that this photo was taken three years ago at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service. Never mind that it accuses the former leader of the UK Labour party of being in the pocket of the Clintons. Never mind that even the circle highlighting him was copied from the Mail. Never mind that Ed Miliband, face furrowed in suspicion, hand damply resting on his front, resembling an awkward and aggrieved butler, would be the last person to have the wherewithal to arrange discreet sordid liaisons anyway. It’s a picture on the internet, folks!

Let’s take our country out of the hands of these failed innocuous Bridish politicians and make America great again!

I'm a mole, innit.