Morning Call: pick of the papers

The ten must-read comment pieces from this morning's papers.

1. Miliband needs to be bolder on EU and immigration (Daily Telegraph)

Instead of offering a strong lead, the Labour Party leader risks giving the initiative to the Tories, says Mary Riddell.

2. Europe: no more talk of in-or-out. Let's think opt-outs (Guardian)

The EU treaties are not fit for purpose, but leaving makes no sense, says Simon Jenkins. Negotiation is possible without risking free trade.

3. Don’t be the PM who takes us out of Europe (Times) (£)

David Miliband imagines what advice John Major might offer David Cameron.

4. Japan should rethink its stimulus (Financial Times)

The real problem is a return to deflation and an overvalued currency, says Adam Posen.

5. The big chains simply cannot rival the choice or the price of online retailers (Daily Mail)

The high street as we knew it, and perhaps in some cases even loved it, is becoming history, writes Simon Heffer.

6. Towards a fairer capitalism: let's burst the 1% bubble (Guardian)

Talk of a more moral capitalism is just hot air unless we rehabilitate and reward the idea of value creation, writes Mariana Mazzucato.

7. Don't let HMV drown in the Amazon (Independent)

A scaled-down operation that adopts more of the "niche" principles of modern business thinking could yet thrive, says an Independent editorial.

8. Berlin slows down (Financial Times)

It is time for German companies to end pay restraint, argues an FT editorial.

9. The BA Christian case was judged rightly, and a true test of tolerance (Guardian)

Nadia Eweida's religious reasons for wearing a cross at work should not have been trampled on by BA's uniform policy, argues Andrew Brown.

10. We should not pay a penny of RBS’s fraud fine (Independent)

The cost, which could rise above £300m, should come out of the bankers' bonus pool, writes Andreas Whittam Smith.

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An alternative Trainspotting script for John Humphrys’ Radio 4 “Choose Life” tribute

Born chippy.

Your mole often has Radio 4’s Today programme babbling away comfortingly in the background while emerging blinking from the burrow. So imagine its horror this morning, when the BBC decided to sully this listening experience with John Humphrys doing the “Choose Life” monologue from Trainspotting.

“I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got Radio 4?” he concluded, as a nation cringed.

Introduced as someone who has “taken issue with modernity”, Humphrys launched into the film character Renton’s iconic rant against the banality of modern life.

But Humphrys’ role as in-studio curmudgeon is neither endearing nor amusing to this mole. Often tasked with stories about modern technology and digital culture by supposedly mischievous editors, Humphrys sounds increasingly cranky and ill-informed. It doesn’t exactly make for enlightening interviews. So your mole has tampered with the script. Here’s what he should have said:

“Choose life. Choose a job and then never retire, ever. Choose a career defined by growling and scoffing. Choose crashing the pips three mornings out of five. Choose a fucking long contract. Choose interrupting your co-hosts, politicians, religious leaders and children. Choose sitting across the desk from Justin Webb at 7.20 wondering what you’re doing with your life. Choose confusion about why Thought for the Day is still a thing. Choose hogging political interviews. Choose anxiety about whether Jim Naughtie’s departure means there’s dwindling demand for grouchy old men on flagship political radio shows. Choose a staunch commitment to misunderstanding stories about video games and emoji. Choose doing those stories anyway. Choose turning on the radio and wondering why the fuck you aren’t on on a Sunday morning as well. Choose sitting on that black leather chair hosting mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows (Mastermind). Choose going over time at the end of it all, pishing your last few seconds on needlessly combative questions, nothing more than an obstacle to that day’s editors being credited. Choose your future. Choose life . . .”

I'm a mole, innit.