Morning Call: pick of the papers

The ten must-read comment pieces from this morning's papers.

1. The hidden truth of local cuts will soon be revealed (Guardian)

It is worse than under Margaret Thatcher, writes David Blunkett. As living standards fall and services are slashed, revolutionary fervour may return.

2. Until David Cameron learns to explain himself, voters will not trust him (Daily Telegraph)

Many natural Tories are losing faith in a party that appears to ignore their opinions, says Bruce Anderson.

3. Seismic events will shape the Middle East (Financial Times

The region offers no respite to international or local actors, writes David Gardner.

4. End this failed marriage of Church and State (Times) (£)

Even the Archbishop can see the benefits, writes Philip Collins. It’s Anglicans who have most to gain from disestablishment.

5. Welfare reform: history today (Guardian)

The newly released cabinet papers from the fourth year of the first Thatcher government are a prequel to the 2012 welfare reforms, says a Guardian editorial.

6. It's time for America to do the right thing (Daily Telegraph)

Economic stability appears to have been abandoned in favour of infighting and point-scoring over the "fiscal cliff", says a Telegraph editorial.

7. Why have the Tories rejected the spirit of 2012? (Independent)

The Conservatives’ new tactic is a betrayal of all that Cameron stood for when he became leader, writes Mary Ann Sieghart.

8. An apprenticeship will soon match all a degree has to offer (Daily Telegraph)

New routes are rapidly opening into valuable and highly paid professional careers, says Matthew Hancock.

9. Mr Clegg's contempt for democracy on EU (Daily Mail)

The deputy PM demonstrated how he remains as detached from the views of the electorate on Europe as ever, says a Daily Mail leader.

10. Why it's good to walk (Guardian

Strolling around the neighbourhood is an antidote to ignorance, and empowering too, says Lynsey Hanley.

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I didn't expect to have to choose between a boyfriend and Judi Dench - but it happened

He told me I'd spoiled the cruise by not paying him enough attention. But what was I to do when Dame Judi Dench asked for a chat?

This happened around 20 years ago, in the days when a new boyfriend was staying at my house. One quite memorable mid-morning, the phone rang while we were in bed and it was the editor of the Times; then it rang again (when we were still in bed) and it was Dame Judi Dench. Yes, Judi Dench.

I was as surprised as anyone would be. True, I had recently written a radio monologue for her (about a wistful limpet stuck on a rock), but I hadn’t attended the recording, so I had never met her, or expected ever to hear her say, “Hello, is that Lynne Truss?” in that fabulous Dame Judi voice that only she possesses.

She said that she and her husband, Michael, were often invited to perform public readings; could I help by writing something? Stunned, I said that I would love to. She gave me her number. I hung up.

I can’t remember why I didn’t jump straight out of bed to start work on the Dame Judi project. But what I do remember is that when the phone rang yet again, we ignored it, on the grounds that, post-Judi, it could only be a disappointment.

A few months later, I was invited on a winter cruise, sailing from Colombo in Sri Lanka to Singapore. I took the boyfriend. It was only when we were changing planes at 3am that I spotted, among the other dog-tired passengers, Dame Judi with a group of friends.

Nervously, I went and said hello, what a coincidence. She said that we must talk. Then the holiday began and the boyfriend and I had a wonderful time. We met nice people and enjoyed the ship, although we consistently failed to identify our allotted muster station.

At the end of ten days, we were sitting on deck at Singapore, when I said, “Well, wasn’t that lovely?”

The boyfriend took me aback by saying, “Actually, glad you asked. No, it wasn’t.” I had spoiled the whole experience, he said, by continually talking to other people when I should have been talking to him.

I was very upset. All this time, he’d been unhappy? Casting my mind back, I realised it was true that I had made friends on board (and he hadn’t); also, at dinner, I had openly talked to the person sitting beside me, because I thought you were supposed to.

And now I stood accused of cruise-ruining! “I’ll get us some tea,” I said. “Oh, yes?” he fumed. “You’ll be gone for an hour, as usual.” And I said “No, I won’t. I promise.”

And so I went inside, wiping away my tears, and someone started chatting to me and I squeaked, “Can’t stop.” After that, I just slalomed through the throng with my head down.

Then, as I re-emerged into the sunlight with a prompt, relationship-saving cup and saucer in each hand, there was Judi Dench, and she said, “Shall we have our little chat now?” 

This article first appeared in the 26 May 2016 issue of the New Statesman, The Brexit odd squad