On Planet Football, the usual rules don't apply. All the better
It always seemed obvious that the housing market would collapse when short-sighted banks and building societies started giving out mortgages for more than houses were worth. It seems patently obvious that the Damien Hirst art market will implode, now it's become a conveyor-belt operation with new items coming off it by the hour.
And obviously, football will eat itself, disappearing into a black hole - because clubs can't keep on running up mega-debts, can they? Fans will vote with their feet as ticket prices rise yet again; and come on, paying players £160,000 a week - repeat, a week - is surely unsustainable and will end in tears. You mark my words, the end of football is nigh.
Actually, it's not. For the simple reason that there is no logic in football. So, for example, it might seem obvious that a national team made up of world superstars, who mostly play for clubs that have won top honours, would stuff a team of part-timers rated 171 places below them in the Fifa rankings. But no, not when it's England playing Andorra.
And England's travelling support, known for creating songs and chants that are copied on terraces around the world, would surely not find themselves reduced to singing the dirge-like national anthem, would they? Well, it turns out they would.
Football finances are, of course, the most baffling mystery of all. The rules of economics and market forces don't apply. Adam Smith, would that you were here at this hour to sort it all out.
We all supposed that Thai bloke would eventually do a runner from Manchester City, leaving behind huge debts and the inevitable descent into a legal and financial mire - or League One, as it's better known - never to be seen again. (Remember Leeds United?) But then suddenly it's all change. Someone even richer, with even more grandiose plans than that tightwad Roman Abramovich, comes along in the shape of City's new, oil-rich owners.
When will it all end? Never, is the answer. As long as we continue to exist on this planet, football will continue to make fools of us all, mocking all sense and reason. I'm not saying the Premiership will continue as the world's brand leader, for surely that's not possible, but football madness will go on happening, somewhere, somehow.
Which, of course, is brilliant. No, really. I think it's endlessly fascinating. What I want to see happen now at Manchester City is something that's never really been tried in football, not since it all began in 1863.
We've had "Invincibles" before, from Preston North End in the 1880s to Arsenal in modern times, but those teams' success was based on talent, luck and management. And it didn't last. We've never actually had a club with the financial clout to guarantee continued success. Abramovich did try it, but Chelsea haven't managed to win the Champions League, or even land Manchester City's new acquisition, Robinho.
If City's Abu Dhabi owners do what they promise, they could conduct the most amazing experiment ever seen in football. What they must do is buy all the best players at Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal. (They needn't bother at this stage with the stars at Real Madrid or Barcelona, as that won't directly weaken their Premiership rivals.) Surely then, with such talent at their disposal and the competition fatally weakened, Man City will win the league, year after year, for ever. It's only logical, isn't it?
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