English players could do with a bit of Continental culture
I got a minicab to Spurs. Yes, I know, getting lazy. But parking is hell and public transport to Tottenham is hopeless. The driver was from Côte d'Ivoire, so naturally we talked about the two Didiers - Zokora of Spurs, Drogba of Chelsea - and all the others in the Premiership from his homeland. He'd never seen them play, but he was ever so proud. As is his country. He says the whole Ivorian population watches every Prem game when one of their lads is involved.
I scream whenever Motty, or any other commentator, goes on about the wonders of our Prem. "You never know who's going to win," he exclaimed recently, "which is why it's the best, most exciting league in the world." Utter tosh. With any game, anywhere, you don't know who'll win. That's the point. The Prem is arguably the most popular league, judging by the numbers watching around the world, but I suspect it's because we have the most foreigners. They improve not just the quality, but the viewing figures. Almost every African country has a player performing here, so they all tune in. I have to admit I don't follow Spanish football as I once did, not since Becks and Owen came home.
The cab driver then boasted about his young nephew who's in Germany, playing for Dortmund's youth team, doing ever so well. He wrote his name down, told me to look him up on Google, assuming that I'd know what that was. He didn't realise I still use a quill pen.
Italy, we don't have anyone there either, none that I can think of. And you know why? Obviously, the money. If a Brit can kick roughly in a straight line, generally manage to pass to someone wearing the same colour shirt, then he'll earn more here than anywhere else. The other reason is stupidity. OK, I take that back. But on the whole, British players lack the initiative and adaptability to cope abroad. They aren't interested, can't be arsed, stuck in their own culture, scared of having to learn a new language, new ways. Unlike Ivorians.
It could explain the continual failure of the England team. Their play is lumpen because they have lived lumpen, insular lives, not been exposed to other cultures, other forms of play. It's a shock to them to come up against teams not necessarily with better individuals, but who are cleverer, wiser, more motivated, know how to survive, how to succeed.
It used to be said that all the foreign players here have improved our play, which is true as far as diet and overall team performances go. But as far as individual players are concerned, the winners are the foreigners, who have been forced to learn, adapt and improve. Our native players have not got better - that's why they find themselves excluded, as at Arsenal.
I honestly think that Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard and Rio Ferdinand would be immensely better players, and people, just as Kevin Keegan, Graeme Souness and Trevor Francis became, after a spell abroad. But they're chicken. They won't go, feel no need. Frank Lampard might, but he went to a public school. He's used to cold showers.
Yet there is hope. At the Spurs press conference after the game, Juande Ramos jabbered away in Spanish, which had to be laboriously translated, so the hacks lost interest. On the bench, he speaks Spanish with his assistant Gus Poyet.
Fabio Capello will have at least four fellow Italians with him when he takes over England, bringing with them their funny foreign ways. So, in the end, our lads won't need to go abroad. It has come here. They might learn something at last . . .
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