Don't blame the foreigners for England's lack of silverware
Fifteen years ago when the Prem began, 76 per cent of the players were English. Now it's only 37 per cent. Very soon it will be almost totally foreign - managers, owners and players. I quite look forward to it. The Prem will become a sort of Harlem Globetrotters, sport turned into show business, the best players in the world hoovered up into the same league, performing to a world TV audience.
Disgusting, should not be allowed, send them all home, how will England ever get a decent team together and win something?
For 40 years we haven't won anything, despite the fact that for most of that time we had virtually no foreigners. Being foreigner-free did us no good. Foreigners can't be blamed for our uselessness.
Fifteen years ago, when all this started, foreigners were welcomed as bringing better habits, better diets, better techniques; good examples for our lumpen home-grown boozers and cloggers. Standards have generally risen. We should be grateful.
So should the economy. Over 500,000 people came to live in Britain in 2006, while 385,000 Brits went the other way and emigrated. A large number of the arrivals were mums, brothers, second cousins, agents, hair stylists, best friends of a foreign Prem player. But for them, our population would have dropped.
It's all part of a general trend. The City, the universities, the Booker shortlist, they're all full of foreigners nicking our plums. And what's wrong with that? Quite a compliment, that our institutions should be thought so desirable.
I'd rather have the world's best footballers in the Prem than say the German or Italian leagues. If that happened, then the handful of players we do like to boast are world class, such as Gerrard and Rooney, plus possibly Lampard and Ferdinand, would be off like a shot, attracted by the big money.
Would that then allow our top clubs to be filled by home-grown players? Possibly - or they might be filled by second-class, cheapo imports instead.
I believe really good native players will always come through. They can only gain by the tougher competition, playing alongside the best foreigners each week, making them better equipped when turning out for England. Except, hmmm, hold on, that doesn't seem to work.
The average or potentially good Brit players are having problems getting into Prem first teams, apart from Boro, but we do have three other professional leagues, far more than elsewhere, where they can flourish.
When the Prem finally breaks away, goes into orbit as a Hollywood satellite, and we forget it ever had any connection with England, our real leagues will come into their own. It was clever in a way that when their names changed we ended up with a Championship, then Leagues One and Two. It could turn out to be factually correct. They could become the true English leagues.
No real fan will go to a Prem game any more. All seats will be taken by commercial sponsors, international sets, hospitality guests, plus the foreigners' mums and hangers-on. And it won't matter during the second half that they are all still in the bar stuffing their fat faces.
This is beginning to upset the TV people, the sight of all these empty seats, as they feel it reflects badly on their product. I have a solution. Let in poor people for the second half for nothing. Didn't do Gordon Brown any harm. In his childhood he usually only saw Raith Rovers in the second half, having got in free by selling programmes.
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