Ho, ho, ho. Not all men want beer-related gifts, you know. Photo: Pete Norton/Getty Images
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Secret santa sexism: why are we so keen to reinforce gender roles for adults at Christmas?

Some progress has been made in getting rid of toys marketed specifically at girls or boys, yet we’re still confronted with “For Him” and “For Her” in every Christmas catalogue that plops through the door.

Gender! (huh, yeah)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing… (sing to tune of “War” by Edwin Starr, repeat until patriarchy crumbles)

Do you like my new feminist anthem? I was rather proud of it, until I realised it’s not strictly true. Gender is good for several things, such as: putting people off learning German; maintaining the oppression of the subjugated sex class; workplace Secret Santa. Obviously, as a linguist and a feminist, I’m not exactly down with the first two. However, as far as I’m concerned, Secret Santa is where gender comes into its own.

The philosopher Janet Radcliffe Richards notes that “while feminists must be committed to attacking all cultural distinctions which actually degrade women, the indiscriminate pursuit of an androgynous culture must involve the elimination of innocuous cultural differences as well, and with them the source of a great deal of pleasure to many people”. Basically, I think what she’s talking about is buying presents for colleagues you don’t know. Without gender, this would be an utter nightmare. Right now, even if you pick out the name of someone who sits miles (ie two desks) away, with whom you’ve never exchanged more than four words (“is this photocopier working?”), there’s no need to panic. Just note down whether this person is a he or a she and buy accordingly: Bayliss & Harding toiletries for the girls, something beer-related that isn’t actually beer for the boys (NB this also works for friends and relatives you don’t like).

Christmas is a time when adults have obvious reasons to treat each other as pronouns, nothing more: For Her (blank-faced woman who likes bubble bath and chocolate), For Him (blank-faced man who likes booze and crap jokes). We may, of course, reach a point when more pronouns are added to the list. Nonetheless, the idea of buying things for individuals because we know them and like them – or of just using our own goddam imaginations – seems terribly distant. In an increasingly individualistic society, labels are useful. Relationships take effort; sexism, meanwhile, can be outsourced to drop-down menus on websites. You can skip the whole laborious “what do women want?” rigmarole. The internet will tell you (Freud would have had a field day, although I suspect even he’d balk at “a silver glitter Cava shoe and a singing duck watering can”).

The campaign group Let Toys Be Toys recently launched a #shopoutsidethebox campaign, asking toy marketers to reject “pink for girls and blue for boys” advertising this Christmas. 6 December – a key Christmas shopping date – has been earmarked as a day on which to spread the word (you can sign up to “donate” a tweet or Facebook post here). There is, however, no equivalent campaign on behalf of adults. It seems we’re either beyond help or just not ready to let go of the reassurance that comes from buying an elderly uncle a t-shirt from Old Guys Rule (although I’m glad we finally have a shop that is, quite literally, the definition of patriarchy).

Of course, I’m curious as to how this might reinforce other gender roles at Christmas. Does receiving something pink and sparkly make you more resigned to peeling the potatoes and tending to the kids? Does getting a L’Oréal Men Expert The Action Hero gift set provide you with the extra manly strength required to SHOW THAT TURKEY WHO’S BOSS? Certainly, on a day when those closest to you have given you gifts which suggest you’re a walking stereotype, it seems rude not to play along (although receiving a Lynx gift set does not, I think, justify coming down to Christmas dinner in one of these). But at least we’re all in the same boat and besides, if the worst effect of gender was “it means you get crap Christmas presents”, we’d be laughing.

This year I am at least trying to do things differently, not just for my sons but for the adults around me. For instance, I’m trying to cross-stitch a map of Cheshire for a grown-up male relative. I don’t know if he wants a cross-stitched map of Cheshire. I just want to give him something that shows I’ve put in time and effort (and believe me, embroidering Jodrell Bank after a glass or two of mulled wine is no mean feat). I don’t want him to think I’ve just thought “male” and chucked any old thing his way. And so he’s getting Cheshire on a piece of cloth (I might throw in some beer mats, just in case).

Alas, my office Secret Santa isn’t being awarded the same degree of care and attention. As soon as I read the name I knew gender was the only option. I’m not proud but hey, it proves I’ve noticed at least one superficial thing about this person. I never thought I’d say it but sometimes, even sexism has its uses.

Glosswitch is a feminist mother of three who works in publishing.

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Voters are turning against Brexit but the Lib Dems aren't benefiting

Labour's pro-Brexit stance is not preventing it from winning the support of Remainers. Will that change?

More than a year after the UK voted for Brexit, there has been little sign of buyer's remorse. The public, including around a third of Remainers, are largely of the view that the government should "get on with it".

But as real wages are squeezed (owing to the Brexit-linked inflationary spike) there are tentative signs that the mood is changing. In the event of a second referendum, an Opinium/Observer poll found, 47 per cent would vote Remain, compared to 44 per cent for Leave. Support for a repeat vote is also increasing. Forty one per cent of the public now favour a second referendum (with 48 per cent opposed), compared to 33 per cent last December. 

The Liberal Democrats have made halting Brexit their raison d'être. But as public opinion turns, there is no sign they are benefiting. Since the election, Vince Cable's party has yet to exceed single figures in the polls, scoring a lowly 6 per cent in the Opinium survey (down from 7.4 per cent at the election). 

What accounts for this disparity? After their near-extinction in 2015, the Lib Dems remain either toxic or irrelevant to many voters. Labour, by contrast, despite its pro-Brexit stance, has hoovered up Remainers (55 per cent back Jeremy Corbyn's party). 

In some cases, this reflects voters' other priorities. Remainers are prepared to support Labour on account of the party's stances on austerity, housing and education. Corbyn, meanwhile, is a eurosceptic whose internationalism and pro-migration reputation endear him to EU supporters. Other Remainers rewarded Labour MPs who voted against Article 50, rebelling against the leadership's stance. 

But the trend also partly reflects ignorance. By saying little on the subject of Brexit, Corbyn and Labour allowed Remainers to assume the best. Though there is little evidence that voters will abandon Corbyn over his EU stance, the potential exists.

For this reason, the proposal of a new party will continue to recur. By challenging Labour over Brexit, without the toxicity of Lib Dems, it would sharpen the choice before voters. Though it would not win an election, a new party could force Corbyn to soften his stance on Brexit or to offer a second referendum (mirroring Ukip's effect on the Conservatives).

The greatest problem for the project is that it lacks support where it counts: among MPs. For reasons of tribalism and strategy, there is no emergent "Gang of Four" ready to helm a new party. In the absence of a new convulsion, the UK may turn against Brexit without the anti-Brexiteers benefiting. 

George Eaton is political editor of the New Statesman.