Julian Assange speaks from the Ecuadorian embassy on December 20, 2012 in London, England. Photo: Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images
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A short history of Julian Assange's most pointless media moments

The Wikileaks founder does a great line in non-news announcements. Let's look back on them with boredom following today's press conference, where he said he may leave the Ecuadorian embassy "soon". 

Today, Julian Assange summoned a press conference, only to deliver the non-news that he is planning to leave the Ecuadorian embassy “soon”. While denying that this was because of medical reasons, he neglected to give details on why, and when, and how, he would leave. In light of this rather pointless announcement, this mole has dug around for a round-up of some of the least newsworthy Assange moments.

For instance, the time he celebrated his two-year anniversary of entering the Ecuadorian embassy by rather ambitiously calling for the US Attorney General, Eric Holder, to resign. Eric Holder did not resign. 

Or when he taunted the UK government in a speech given from the balcony of the Ecuadorian embassy. The event attracted fans and journalists alike, but mainly consisted of Assange smugly thanking those who had helped him – more reminiscent of an emotional Oscars speech than anything else. 

Then there was this publicity stunt with ex-footballer Eric Cantona – which led to the announcement of... well, nothing. 

Or this sombre exchange of two rather snazzy discs, apparently containing the details of over 2,000 bank accounts which Assange pledged to reveal in 2011. We’re still waiting for the "full revelation" he promised... 

Of course, we haven’t forgotten this cringeworthy video of Assange lip-synching along to this Australian cheesy hit, as part of a publicity stunt for his election campaign to the Australian Senate. 

I'm a mole, innit.

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Appreciate the full horror of Nigel Farage's pro-Trump speech

The former Ukip leader has appeared at a Donald Trump rally. It went exactly as you would expect.

It is with a heavy heart that I must announce Nigel Farage is at it again.

The on-again, off-again Ukip leader and current Member of the European Parliament has appeared at a Donald Trump rally to lend his support to the presidential candidate.

It was, predictably, distressing.

Farage started by telling his American audience why they, like he, should be positive.

"I come to you from the United Kingdom"

Okay, good start. Undeniably true.

"– with a message of hope –

Again, probably quite true.

Image: Clearly hopeful (Wikipedia Screenshot)

– and optimism.”

Ah.

Image: Nigel Farage in front of a poster showing immigrants who are definitely not European (Getty)

He continues: “If the little people, if the real people–”

Wait, what?

Why is Trump nodding sagely at this?

The little people?

Image: It's a plane with the name Trump on it (Wikimedia Commons)

THE LITTLE PEOPLE?

Image: It's the word Trump on the side of a skyscraper I can't cope with this (Pixel)

THE ONLY LITTLE PERSON CLOSE TO TRUMP IS RIDING A MASSIVE STUFFED LION

Image: I don't even know what to tell you. It's Trump and his wife and a child riding a stuffed lion. 

IN A PENTHOUSE

A PENTHOUSE WHICH LOOKS LIKE LIBERACE WAS LET LOOSE WITH THE GILT ON DAY FIVE OF A PARTICULARLY BAD BENDER

Image: So much gold. Just gold, everywhere.

HIS WIFE HAS SO MANY BAGS SHE HAS TO EMPLOY A BAG MAN TO CARRY THEM

Image: I did not even know there were so many styles of Louis Vuitton, and my dentists has a lot of old copies of Vogue.

Anyway. Back to Farage, who is telling the little people that they can win "against the forces of global corporatism".

 

Image: Aaaaarggghhhh (Wikipedia Screenshot)

Ugh. Okay. What next? Oh god, he's telling them they can have a Brexit moment.

“... you can beat Washington...”

“... if enough decent people...”

“...are prepared to stand up against the establishment”

Image: A screenshot from Donald Trump's Wikipedia page.

I think I need a lie down.

Watch the full clip here:

Stephanie Boland is digital assistant at the New Statesman. She tweets at @stephanieboland