Laurie Penny

Pop culture and radical politics with a feminist twist

The sex lives of powerful men

Our fascination with scandal and sleaze hides the seriousness of corruption and the ordinariness of infidelity, rape and abuse.

By Laurie Penny Published 27 May 2011 13:16

The virility of power is no longer in question. In the past month, the papers have been sodden with the sordid sex lives of wealthy, influential men. The former governor of California has been exposed as an adulterer. The former head of the IMF is awaiting trial, charged with the attempted rape of a Manhattan maid.

In Britain, in the superinjunction scandal, a top banker, a leading journalist, footballers and unnamed others have been accused of abusing laws designed to protect the innocent to cover up their extramarital affairs. It is almost a century since women in Europe and the US started to become major players in the world of business and politics but you wouldn't know it to look at the headlines.

In the past few weeks, women have featured almost nowhere in the political press except in the roles of wronged wife or brave victim. There is an ocean of difference between consensual infidelity and sexual assault. Men who cheat are a different species of scumbag from men who rape. Yet that difference has been elided by the schoolyard stereotype that violence, exploitation and lies are an inevitable part of the power rut of modern politics.

Squelchy details

This is not an innocent age. Western society has grown past the scandals of John Profumo, Bill Clinton and Silvio Berlusconi and we can no longer pretend to be shocked by the idea of philandering politicians.

Yet it is hard to decide who is most debased by this pageant of shame: is it the men in question; the press, whose obsession with sex has pushed a great deal of real news off the front pages; or the rest of us, for letting ourselves get sidetracked? People are outraged that public figures have appropriated British laws to hide their own misdemeanours, but our fascination with sleaze distracts us from the importance of this abuse of power.

The hypocrisy of this media circus is that it obscures both the seriousness of political corruption and the everyday nature of sexual infidelity, rape and abuse, none of which is the preserve of the rich and famous. The notion that wealth and status are special predictors of infidelity ignores the evidence that 45 per cent of wives and 60 per cent of husbands engage in extramarital sex at some point in their lives.

“Lawmaker infidelity", as one US news site termed the Arnold Schwarzenegger case, is no different from any other infidelity when it comes down to the squelchy details, though one might possibly anticipate a smarter hotel.

Many feminists have attempted to psychoanalyse the male abuse of women's trust as a disease of power. The cover of a recent issue of Time magazine demands to know why "powerful men act like pigs". This is the wrong question to ask, because it assumes that other men do not and does a disservice to the thousands of women who are raped every day by taxi drivers, office workers, family members and friends. Five per cent of women, according to the campaign group Rape Crisis, will experience rape in their lifetime. Some of their attackers may well be cartoon villains but most of them will not.

It is worth comparing the public condemnation of the disgraced former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn, whose guilt is tacitly assumed by many, to the case of WikiLeaks's editor-in-chief, Julian Assange, who faces similar accusations in Sweden. Assange has been pre-emptively exonerated of any wrongdoing by the global left on the grounds that, as an outlaw pioneer of free speech, he cannot also be an abuser of women.

Strauss-Kahn, on the other hand, is a powerful player in a financial system whose exploitative practices are accepted. Sexual exploitation and political potency are assumed to be part of the same sweaty package. Both Assange and Strauss-Kahn deny the allegations against them.

There is a complicity to all this - the press loves to watch important men with their flies undone and gossip about how big and hard and naughty they are. Naughty they may be, but the potency of the individuals concerned is very much up for debate.

Ordinary idiots

The problem is not that we are getting screwed, but that we are getting screwed with bloodless inefficiency. The alleged philanderer Fred Goodwin's stewardship of the Royal Bank of Scotland was a misfire. During his time as chief executive, the bank nearly collapsed in a financial crisis that cost us billions. While Schwarzenegger was "Governator", the state of California plunged into an employment crisis; Strauss-Kahn, meanwhile, presided over the imposition of punishing austerity programmes in Greece, Ireland and Portugal, which have failed to rescue the eurozone.

We like to see this type of politician as dynamic, dangerous and in control. In reality, they embody a species of disaster capitalism that is paranoid and exploitative. The men in charge of banks and governments are ordinary idiots with ordinary fallibilities. They manipulate their playboy image to shore up their political power, sometimes with the support of their wives. During her husband's election campaign, Anne Sinclair was asked if she was bothered by Strauss-Kahn's sexual reputation. "I'm actually rather proud of it," she replied. "It's important for a politician to seduce."

Like Sinclair, many of us long for a politics of exciting mutual seduction. Instead, we find ourselves cruelly and ineptly shafted by plutocrats who abuse their privilege to cover their tracks. Jokes about the Chancellor, George Osborne, rogering the British economy and requesting a superinjunction are all very well, but if we want to live in a world where women are respected and workers are protected, it is not enough to point and laugh when power has its trousers down.

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44 comments

Fri, 2011-05-27 14:35 — Jess (not verified)

I'm not really sure about the helpfulness of lumping together sexual violence and sexual harassment with cheating TBH.

Fri, 2011-05-27 14:36 — Douglas Clarke (not verified)

Genuine question, Laurie: Do you think that chauvinism and bigotry are inherently part of being male?

If not, could you kindly stop acting like it is?

I do enjoy your column, and once in a while, you make a good point, but I can't really get past what seems like total hostility to anyone who has the misfortune to be born male....

Fri, 2011-05-27 14:54 — Simon H (not verified)

Really Douglas Clarke? I don't get that from the article at all.

Fri, 2011-05-27 15:50 — Orange Booker (not verified)

"The men in charge of banks and governments are ordinary idiots with ordinary fallibilities."

Their failings may be ordinary, but whatever else Clinton, Strauss-Kahn, Berlusconi et all may be they are certaintly not idiots.

Also California has been in a financial crisis for a very long time, not sure its fair to blame Arnie, albeit he was elected to tackle it.

Overall a pretty average article, it doesn't exactly contribute anything new to this debate, I mean women like men who like power and like exercising it over others...is this supposed to be a revelation?

For me, the DSK affair revels the hollowness of socialism. The man who embodies its best hope of electoral sucess not just in France but in Europe has been responsible for imposing austerity programmes abroad and hasn't seemed to have got the memo about women's rights. Thats why we need a redistrubution of power from the state to people.

Sun, 2011-05-29 23:53 — Mr. Divine (not verified)

@Mrs Josephine: 'Speaking for myself, I've never been interested in other people's so-called sex-lives. Too busy living my own love life, I suppose.'

Couldn't agree with you more. What's your sex life actually like?

Sat, 2011-05-28 14:01 — Mr. Divine (not verified)

You need to have part 1, part 2, part 3 etc etc. Have you ever come across that approach before?

Fri, 2011-05-27 16:41 — 1R4M

Men will do ANYTHING for sex
referring specifically to adultery, not rape
Adultery is as old as time

Men by nature are polygamous, they cant stay faithful to their partners

Sun, 2011-06-26 13:57 — Mrs Josephine (not verified)

Mr Divine, "What's your sex life actually like?"
You are the creature Im talking about, the yard bully who pretends he is not who he really is, you say in one hand you are busy with your own and have the audacity to ask a school yard question, so I ask you hows yours punk...

Sun, 2011-06-05 02:14 — Pete M (not verified)

I'm pleased that someone has finally had the balls to stand up for the welfare state. I'm disgusted by the apathy shown by my fellow British citizens; the vulnerable and dispossessed are being systematically attacked by the coalition government. Where are the mass protests, the collective opposition against what the Tories are doing? Perhaps I just need to face facts; I live in a country full of selfish tossers...

Fri, 2011-05-27 17:25 — Stuart Eels (not verified)

Laurie Penny and 1R4M, you truly amaze me. Do you not know that it takes two to indulge in horizontal dirty dancing and usually 50% of the dirty dancing is carried out by a female.

Sat, 2011-05-28 16:12 — mevame (not verified)

i am not sure where this writer of this article get all these infos from!!? if Mr.kahn was not in charge of the IMF and if he did not introduce the "money recycle" idea, those EU countries would be in way worst situation as they are today. do not forget Mr.America did not accept the idea and look where they are today. they had to print over 32T,USD. so go figure. who knows if Mr.Kahn is guilty of any rape or is it only a set up. who will ever find out? but since Mr.Kahn said in his interview in Forex, USA has reached its limit of borrowing and printing notes. so look what happened in less than 2 weeks after the interview. dont be fool. if someone can afford luxury life, can simply afford big roller escort. why a maid? also, the time was up for Mr.Sarkozy, the American puppet and it was a bit hard and challenging for Washington if Mr.Kahn would become the president of France. think about this. Over all, the article is wishy washy and horrible to read. it is all soap opera. please the writer, u must hate men, right?

Fri, 2011-05-27 17:33 — David Vinter (not verified)

Laurie, your mixing with the wrong class of people,or is there something different about a sort of
'working class' rape? And don't some women just seduce the apparently rich, or those with the reputations of being a highly skilled perfomer?
It more often takes two to tango after all who of either sex wants a complaining partner--there is no fun in that!

Thu, 2011-06-02 21:49 — Yere

Ask your mum if she felt liberated by looking after you til you moved house and got a job, or looking after your father after coming back from work. Maybe your wife has been doing the same with your kids and will be like that for generations to come. This is what happens when you have kids and so far 30 millions women (1.2 average child each)do day in day out. Home building is done by the woman. It is unpaid labour and free to the man with the personal touch of unconditional love for the children. Does society recognize this?? Leave alone all the isms and the laws of the land which hardly enter the intimacy of the home and the "duties of the woman" to raise kids and family. We are still a world away from equality.(unless she is rich then independence comes easy. Africa??? Is this the belittling one liner from a middle age liberated office male employer with time in his hands because his wife is doing the cooking tonight as usual?

Sat, 2011-05-28 16:55 — Tom (not verified)

Why do rich and powerful men cheat on their wives? One reason is because in a sense it's expected of them. In today's society, people love to live vicariously thru the exploits of celebs. If that's not true, then why does the MSM endlessly hype this stuff? Because they know it's guranteed ratings/profit/readership.

Can you seriously imagine all news editors in the U.K. saying right. Starting from today no more stories about celeb sex scandals? How did the Sun become the most profitable paper? It wasn't because of their in-depth economic analysis.

When Roman Polanski was arrested in Switzerland on his pending rape charges, what happened? Lots of idiotic MSM talk about rape. When is rape actually rape? It's not like this is rape rape. It's a different kind of rape. And so on. Nobody cares that this is stupid and insulting to actual rape survivors.

Another twist. What if a rich and powerful guy is arrested for raping little kids? Instantly the MSM jumps on it because the hype/sleeze factor goes way up. Is anybody concerned about the little kid in question? Does anybody ever ask why do people always say "sexual assault" when it's clearly rape? No. We won't call it what it really is. However, we'll hype the s**t of it.

All the way around, it's about money and power.

Mon, 2011-05-30 05:58 — frankchant (not verified)

great start, like scientists have discovered that The virility of power is no longer in question.
The silly question...why dmcot wives?-it should be why do (women) get married! especially when 60% (men)are scumbags

Sat, 2011-05-28 19:00 — james (not verified)

the bias against men in this article is clear, and as despicable as bias against women would be. Women cheat just as often as men do- they just don't hit the scandal sheets as often (likely for fear of attack from groups represented with this rag)- and women are often far from the 'victims' as portrayed by society, continue the cycle of abuse onto their children (I for one, am a victim of my mother). rags like this, do a disservice to humanity by pitting one gender against another, rather than focusing on the issues 1) why do victims enact vengeance upon others, and thereby become perpetrators themselves? 2) why do PEOPLE cheat? as a married person, I believe it is because we have eyes, and are perpetually attracted to the opposite sex; we don't suddenly become blind, and so, we are constantly tempted. Women are as guilty of looking as men are- equal opportunity and all that, I once considered accepting a paid proposition by a cougar who needed to keep some prey on the side, for when she got hungry.

Fri, 2011-05-27 18:20 — Luddite (not verified)

Miss Penny. My mother always said to me always look for the good in people and try to forgive the bad. Working class men don't need to be told about the importance of women, they are our daughters, mothers and sisters.

Tue, 2011-05-31 15:45 — Roger Dodger (not verified)

I'm trying to get my head round some of this.

George Osborne screws the economy gags. Really?
Who even in this leftie shit-pit really wants to make the case that the economy was not screwed in May 2010?

Oh yeah, you geniuses were 'marching for the alternative'. (AKA bankruptcy)

Tue, 2011-05-31 17:23 — MR (not verified)

In addition to the Sperminator, let's not forget other great American lotharios like John Edwards and SC Gov Mark Sanford. Hell, this goes back to JFK.

Sun, 2011-05-29 01:48 — Mrs.Josephine Hyde-Hartley (not verified)

Speaking for myself, I've never been interested in other people's so-called sex-lives. Too busy living my own love life, I suppose. But I wonder if the problems people have with their various contracts eg marriage/employment is because at heart we're all learning and this naturally involves the testing of all traditional boundaries - Trying to create and snatch time and space in secret margins, we can feel really powerful as we avoid being caught out. We're all like children in the playground really, whatever the age.

Fri, 2011-05-27 19:20 — Spilliam Wooner

There are three different reasons why men have sex, adulterous or otherwise. One is for the pleasure of sex itself and the another is as an adjunct to power. We should not confuse these two as they indicate distinct psychological states. The one is amiable and at peace with his fellow human beings while the other is the proverbial mother fcuker and his 'shafting' goes beyond considerations of sex and gender.

The third reason why men have sex is opportunistic. They are confronted with an offer they are unable, for whatever reason, to refuse. In such a situation the female is the proactive partner and the male, flattered by her attentions, falls headlong into whatever trap awaits him.

If we want to get a grip on this subject we need to acknowledge these different male motivations and take this into account when judging a man caught with his trousers down. IMO

Sun, 2011-05-29 03:26 — Ivan Miletitch

well said james, Ms Penny is notorious for that! I had the misfortune of listenning to her on Question Time once...''Actually' & 'Like' in EVERY sentence... & apart from men bashing, seems to have difficulties in constructing an intelligible sentence

Mon, 2011-05-30 14:09 — Rob (not verified)

"Men who cheat are a different species of scumbag from men who rape. Yet that difference has been elided by the schoolyard stereotype that violence, exploitation and lies are an inevitable part of the power rut of modern politics."

That's a clever way of you covering yourself for eliding the two throughout the article: rape and infidelity aren't the same, but, er, to nasty powerful men they might as well be, so I'll treat them as being the same too.

And white is therefore black, and left shall be right.

Sun, 2011-05-29 10:13 — gerry (not verified)

Ivan Miletitch - grow up! Instead of btiching about Laurie, why not deal with the right(eous) questions she asks?

Fact: many powerful and everyday men do abuse/rape women and girls - from Polanski to (allegedly) Assange to Strauss Khan.

Fact: some of the vile actions of these men are - sickeningly - supported by women: Whoopi Goldberg, Jemima Khan, Anne Sinclair

Thousands of women in the UK write sick love letters to jailed serial killers and paedophiles like Ian Huntley, Charlie Bronson, Roy Whiting - fact.

It seems that many men think they get rewarded for their sexual aggression even when it crosses the line into rape, abuse, domestic violence...until both men and women and the societies in which we live UNAMBIGUOUSLY reject the glorification of male violence (or "seduction" as the very sick Anne Sinclair says), then this culture will continue flouurishing, asd it has done all over the world for millennia..

So you see Ivan, it is about both men and women and how we deal with each other!

Mon, 2011-05-30 15:14 — Sharnika (not verified)

"Our fascination with scandal and sleaze hides[?] the seriousness of corruption and the ordinariness of infidelity, rape and abuse."

…

"Our fascination with [scandal and sleaze] THE SEX LIVES OF POWERFUL, RESPECTED AUTHORITY FIGURES, WHO WE WOULD OTHERWISE ASSUME TO BE ABOVE INFIDELITY, RAPE AND ABUSE [hides] REVEALS the seriousness of corruption and the ordinariness of infidelity, rape and abuse."

… fix'd ?

Thu, 2011-12-15 18:34 — RemingtonSherman

The position of women in society is at best second class citizen. Women have huge responsibilities in society. They bear children, grow them up, teach them to love and to feel compassion for others, pass the most important values to them. http://www.webhostingplay.com/

Sun, 2011-05-29 13:12 — M. E. (not verified)

"gerry", I agree that men and women should be treated equally and fairly, but I wouldn't reduce it to "men and women and how we deal with each other". Clearly, our societies encourage a macho culture and make it pretty simple to rape someone. I think it's naive thinking that the high proportion of rape and domestic violence in our societies can be dealt with without changing the structures in society that encourage this culture. A more cooperative society with another economic base could do wonders. After all, it's not a question of being a man or a woman. There are men hitting men, there are men hitting women, there are women hitting men and there are women hitting women. We need less violent societies overall, i'd say, less nevrotic and desperate. More mature societies. Which also means we need to stop playing with nuclear power. But that comment belongs rather to another article I guess.

Wed, 2011-06-01 01:01 — Yere

I Agree : “Our fascination with scandal and sleaze hides the seriousness of corruption and the ordinariness of infidelity, rape and abuse.” And what fucked up society!!
The position of women in society is at best second class citizen.
Women have huge responsibilities in society. They bear children, grow them up, teach them to love and to feel compassion for others, pass the most important values to them.
Still they are marginalised in their roles as modern days slaves, frequently abused, psychologically and physically. No matter what women are still holding double or triple jobs (house, kids, family taxi driver, jobs....)

The digital Counter-Information together with the newspapers - tabloids are the worst but the conventional main stream non-bias magz are just as bad – create this fascination for scandal and sleaze.
There will always be some wash out humanoid interested in the sex routines of Michael Jackson but give me a break!! Is there anything more important to write/talk about? With all that media coverage I could get people gagging for the next issues of “UK Accountancy laws” magazine! Why not discuss proper issues? What about corruption and the ordinariness of infidelity, rape and abuse as Laurie put it?
There is nothing more disturbing than the continuous psychological message that all is well while our standard of living is regressing to the1990 level.

Fri, 2011-07-01 21:47 — Ivan Miletitch

Well well... it looks like the 'sisters' may have to calm down just a bit on this one... (sorry Gerry!!!), DSK has just been released from 'house arrest', the alledged victim's credibility is quickly desintegrating (lied about what happened & what she did in response to the alledged assault, lied about her circumstances to obtain asylum in the US, defrauding 'housing benefits' & 'child benefits' & I'm sure we haven't heard all of it yet... But Ms Penny & the sisterhood are probably going to claim this is a massive cover up, male policemen & male judges are in on it & all that sort of rubbish....

Sun, 2011-05-29 15:08 — Daniel Taghioff (not verified)

This article confuses power, sex and gender badly.

It is probably true that those with power play around more. The other side of that coin is that it is probably because they have more opportunity.

It is also true that more men are in positions of power, hence the outlines of this problem.

But I would venture this is a problem of power and not of men. Whilst men initiate sex more, it does indeed take two to Tango. 45% to 60% is not a big gap, given that women are probably less likely to admit what they do. Genetic testing gives on interesting insight on how many women cheat by showing how many give birth to children not fathered by their husband. It is a lot.

Is the contention here that extra-marital sex would disappear if women were in charge? Doesn't sound like most of the women I know...

The issues is abuse of power, and the lack of accountability in that, plain and simple, and fetishizing genital typologies is a bit of a distraction from the main issue. It's not all about sex.

Sat, 2011-05-28 01:10 — B. (not verified)

great article, but i think you might be mistaken with one statistic, the 'only 5% of women get raped', it is much more than that, more like 20%.

Sat, 2011-05-28 03:33 — Ivan Miletitch

The french have an expression to describe the likes of Ms Penny....mal baisee, you won't find the translation in BBC's 'a vous la France' !

Mon, 2011-05-30 23:55 — Angrylefty (not verified)

I agree with most of this, as usual. However, Assange wasn't 'pre-emptively exonerated'- there is very clear evidence that the 'rape' charge was concocted to discredit him, that doesn't apply to Strauss-Kahn.

Sun, 2011-05-29 17:34 — Stuart Eels (not verified)

Ivan Milltitch, Ludlow (UK)

You are not the only one, try listening to her on R5 Sunday mornings it's pure comic genius!

Sat, 2011-05-28 11:46 — Spud Middleton (not verified)

Every time I try to post on here nothing happens

Fri, 2011-05-27 13:47 — charlesfrith

People ridicule David Icke but his breakdown on institutionalised sex abuse by powerful people has been well captured by Pie and Mash Films. It's a pattern not a scandal of the day affair and the reasons behind it are well documented by those who wish to confront the appalling issue.

http://www.charlesfrith.com/2011/04/david-icke-matters.html

Sat, 2011-05-28 11:47 — Spud Middleton (not verified)

except that time...obviously...just seems to be everything over 20 words.

Tue, 2011-05-31 07:27 — Oscar (not verified)

@Daniel Taghioff

I agree. It's depressing this labelling of men as cheaters, normally ignoring the fact that women are also likely to do so.

I work in clinical paediatrics and we have approximately 8-9% rate of false paternity in the UK. To be fair, this varies considerably across the country, but basically approximately 1 in 10 fathers don't realise their child isn't theirs.

Fri, 2011-05-27 14:16 — Drakula

Rape is absolutely abhorent and those in power who are found guilty of it should be hit hard.

Our culture is very hypocritical we have a judea/Christian ethic with a commandant "Thou shalt not commit adultry" so I assume that the act of adultry must be illegal.

Yet how many public figures (or even common folk) are taken to court by their spouses for adultery? and are fined or sent to jail?

The adulterer seems to be the 'winner' and the victim seems to be the 'loser'.

Sun, 2011-05-29 22:02 — Hugh Markey (not verified)

Would you Adam and Eve it? Rich men buy or extort sex from impecunious women or men. No, doubt a given.
Many a 'rock group' has been formed in the hope that 'fame; will bring wealth and groupies.
As she controlled powerful men let's leave Cleopatra aside. However, just look at Claudius' two wives and Marie Antoinette.
IN the case of the harem, on the authority of no less a visionary than H G Wells, we can look askance at its distorting political influence on inheritance and policy in the mediaeval world of Islam.
Modern women's adventures abroad in search of 'toy boys' is something men have been doing since well before the Vikings.
The description of male escorts as gigolos appears in many a 20s lyric.
Under the weight of history, yes, women can afford to adopt a holier than thou attitude.
But many women have inherited wealth from father or husband and it hasn't made a blind bit of difference.
Empathize! Mrs Thatcher to you!
What's Good for the Goose is Good for the Gander